Telling the children

[Rebecca75]

As the title says.. Mr children are 7 and just 5. I'm going to tell them tomorrow that husband and mine's marriage is over.... crapping my pants. My son keeps writing notes telling me to not stop loving his dad, my daughter hasn't got a clue. Feel so bloody shitty about shattering their world. Any tips?

Sorry to hear you are in this situation. I am sure you will do all the right things. Tell them you both love them very much but you don't love each other anymore. And assuming daddy is going to live in new house and you will be able to visit lots and see lots of him. And that you are all very sad but will adjust.

Hope it goes smoothly. I am sure there will be lots of tears. My youngest who is five just kinda got on with it my eldest has taken it all badly. Not helped by having ow thrusted Into his life rather promptly.

"I'm going to tell them"

It's going to be shit then. Learn that there are two parents regardless of what you think and feel

It's going to be shit then. Learn that there are two parents regardless of what you think and feel

Why would you be so harsh and abrupt to someone going through this situation? You don't know why their Dad isn't there or whether or not he's refused to be there, you don't know anything except that two small children are being told their parents are breaking up.

Hi, I'm in a similar situation. Have to tell our 7yo today. Watching with interest for any advice

When we told ours we went for a game of bowling afterwards. They were 8 6 and 3. It helped to have something to do all together and show them we could still do things together etc

I have no advice to offer, just a handhold.
My 7-year-old DD cried her heart out. ((((

Update - my daughter is ok - she's 5 and hasn't got a clue, keeps crying but doesn't understand at all. Think it will be harder for her down the line. My son is devastated, he was really quiet after I told him, cries all the time at the silliest of things and constantly asks me not to divorce dad. It's heartbreaking but I'm glad it's 'out there' - first step in moving on.
To the person who commented in such a negative way - yes of course there are 2 parents but if the other parent wasn't such a f*ing arse we wouldn't be at this stage! And it is down to me to tell them as he is incapable of stepping up the mark and doing anything proactive.

I haven’t told my son yet. I’m dreading it I feel like it’s going to break his heart. We’ve decided not to say anything until ex has found somewhere new to live.

Good idea. My oh has now backtracked, won't leave the house and telling the children it's all my doing. Wish I hadn't said anything just yet in hindsight.

Good luck, I hope the conversation goes ok..

Really feel for you Rebecca. We told our son together, fairly soon after my ex had decided to end our family so to speak. Our son is six.

Although the decision was entirely hers, we have not been putting any blame infront of our son, although I sense he may understand that it was her decision. We have said that sometimes grown ups sometimes stop making each other happy, and because we want to be happy for him, we have to be apart now. Have not mentioned that we don’t love each other anymore. Difficult because I xxxxing hate her for what she’s done.

Anyway, also trying to stress that nothing will ever stop either of us loving him, and that just because we’re no longer together doesn’t mean we won’t have some excellent times still. Just trying to stress anything that could be spun as a positive ie you now have two homes instead of one; you’ll have two summer holidays instead of one, that kind of thing.

I have no idea if this is the ‘correct’ way of doing things, but just trying to minimise his pain and confusion.