We are ten days in and I'm losing weight, no appetite, constant CONSTANT searing butterflies in my stomach. We have 2 DC DS nearly 6 and DD 21 months. STBXH has never been that involved with the DC but has turned it on massively with them and of course they are lapping up the new Superdad they have at the moment. He's saying he wants 50/50 shared care (he is self employed In an llp and earns about £100k. I'm full time SAHM and completely and utterly financially dependent on him. He is a controlling narc and has left me suicidal, depressed and desperate) but he's never spent THAT much time with them and accuses me of having blocked him from having a relationship with them. Not true. Totally false. He wants to reduce his hours (I see through his ploy to pay me zero maintenance) and have them a lot now and even though it's only just over a week since we broke up, this morning he said he has been mindful of me but wants a contact agreement soon because he will stop being mindful if it rumbles on much longer. I have a solicitor and both he and another one I have spoken to confirm that the DC are very little still and the little one is still breastfed so he's highly unlikely to get 50% shared care. I am not trying to prevent him having a relationship with them at all but it's all about him (although he would accuse me of the same). He accused me of behaving inappropriately towards him and flirting with him on Sunday afternoon. Weird and delusional.
I can't get a prescription for anxiety as I have low blood pressure and it's so uncomfortable here. He's been through my cupboard and removed papers I had proving his high spending. I'm paranoid he's monitoring everything I do. I've been advised by women's aid to move out but solicitor says stay put. And all the while we have to try and get through each day... I have a petition being drafted but he has already tried to tell me via my solicitor not to petition because he wants to petition me as it's personal and important to him. He's subjected me to this for years and how dare I have the gall to petition HIM.
It's hell. Help!