finance after separation

[12md]

My ex and I have been separated 3 years and nothing has yet been sorted regarding finances. He has stated how much he will accept from me as recognition of his interest in the family home. I cannot afford the amount he has said so he has suggested a monthly deduction from his child maintenance payments over the next 9 years. Do you think this is reasonable to agree to? I just feel that the maintenance payments are not for me but for the children and it would be wrong to use 'their money' this way. Has anyone had a similar agreement?

See a solicitor, don't accept his suggestion.

Went to see solicitor previously about the initial lump sum ex wanted and solicitor suggested I get a loan and take on a second job to pay it off! No way...Think I need to change solicitor.

But the solicitor is right. If he is entitled to a share in the house and you cant afford to pay him off then you either have to sell the house or get a mortgage (loan).

Assuming you dont want to sell the house then a loan is the only option. To afford the loan you either have to increase your income (get a second job) or decrease your spending.
A reduction in maintenance payments in exchange for equity is simply your ex helping to pay for your children to stay living in their home. Think of it as a zero interest loan he is paying off.

So unless you sell your house, or take out a mortgage it sounds like a good deal.

Through marriage he is automatically entitled to a share. However, the fact that I put the deposit down on the house, have always paid the mortgage and only my name on the deeds makes it seem unfair. Plus the fact that he has not been paying the amount CM say he should - he is in dispute with them and wants me to end the case and sort out CM between ourselves. It's not straightforward :(

So the house is actually yours, and his only claim is through marriage? Ffs! He can't just tell you what he wants, and you have to pay it! That decision isn't his to make. Why dont you work out what you can afford, based on how much you can get by way of loan or remortgage? If he won't agree, he'll have to let the court decide on financial arrangements when the divorce goes through. The court has wide powers to make whatever ruling it feels is just and equitable. It could even decide he gets nothing, or a charge on the house when DC's reach 17 or finish their education.

I can't remortgage at the moment as my current job is only on a temporary contract. Thinking it will have to be a court decision. He says he has always seen the house more mine than his but he can't just walk away with nothing...he has been gone 3 years with nothing though, yet has managed to buy a house himself!