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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Mortgage on spousal maintenance

10 replies

VanGoghsDog · 05/05/2018 22:29

This is about my sister, not me.

Husband of 30 years, left two years ago to live with OW (although he pretended not to be). Turned out he'd been having various affairs for around 10 years.

There are zero assets in the marriage: no house, no car, no savings, nothing.

He has a reasonable pension expectation (one is Final Sal and a couple of others), sister has nothing.

He is a high earner and sort of has three jobs - one he is employed in which pays very well (over £100k), one where he does some public speaking/consultancy for day rates and another which is a public role which pays a day rate.

Two kids, both adults (but both still supported financially a bit, though that could stop I guess).

Sister has almost never worked and certainly has no 'career' or any skills to fall back on. She is also partially disabled and is 58 now, so it's highly unlikely she can find work. She also lives very rurally, where there isn't much work.

Ex-H now wants to go for the divorce, though originally he did not, but we assume OW is now pushing for this as the two year mark is passed.

Until now, he has been paying all the household costs as he did when they were together, and then transferring half the remaining income (but only from his main job, she never sees anything from the other two income streams and does not know how much it is, even when they were together he kept that separate) to her account while he has kept the other half - though originally this 'half' was after both her household costs and his (a flat that he rented during the marriage, due to working away) but now he lives with OW he has no 'household costs' as such, so has significantly more disposable income monthly.

They have an informal agreement that on divorce, he would buy a house for her and pay spousal maints for life (he has to really). He won't really need to ever stop work unless he becomes incapable.

The problem is, the house would be in his name as he would need a mortgage (he has been saving for a deposit for this but won't have more than £20k by now). He's given sister some guff about getting the mortgage then transferring the house to her - but I know you can't do that as mortgage co have a charge on the house and would not allow it.

So, then her next option is for him to increase maints to cover mortgage payment and her to get the mortgage, but I can't see her getting a mortgage a) on this basis and b) at her age (or, not a very long one anyway).
She has no other income.

Does anyone have any experience of this please?

The second issue is that he is possibly going to come into a large sum of money in the future (over a million) as a result of investments made during the marriage and work he did while they were together in which she supported him (for a while she ran a business he worked in, plus with his high profile roles and all his global travel she was unable to work while the kids were at school and later as a result of the lifestyle they chose together - horses, dogs etc).

Is there a way she can ensure if this money comes in, she gets a share?

thanks

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 05/05/2018 22:35

Yes she needs to see a solicitor asap

VanGoghsDog · 05/05/2018 22:43

I've told her that - she will, but she has some weird notion that they can sort it all out between them and just get the solicitor to agree it, and that ex will be reasonable. Plus, of course, she has no money for a solicitor really.

He's fairly reasonable (until this week, when he's suddenly making demands) but he suffers from thinking he knows stuff that he doesn't actually know and she suffers from listening to his shit (both of which is how they got into this mess in the first place I suppose!).

It's a problem if she thinks they have got it all agreed, with what he has recommended (he keeps telling her he has 'taken advice' but he's not seen a solicitor formally, just asked a mate) and she then sees a solicitor and they say no, it's not sensible. I want her to know up front what might work.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 05/05/2018 22:59

She really needs to see a solicitor and get professional advice. She should be able to get his pension now -maybe use this for a mortgage?

VanGoghsDog · 05/05/2018 23:02

How can she get his pension now - he's only 53? He can't draw it.

OP posts:
Jonbb · 05/05/2018 23:07

It's called a pension sharing order whereby she gets a percentage of what's in his pension scheme, probably near to 50 percent on the info you have given. It is best to do this stuff via a solicitor because you really need a consent order to protect both of you.

VanGoghsDog · 05/05/2018 23:52

I know she gets half (actually I think given her health issues and total lack of income she might get more than half, but anyway) but I didn't think she could draw on it until he can, or can she draw as she is over 55 even though he isn't?
If that is the case, it's certainly an income more likely to be taken into account for a mortgage for her than maintenance I think. Though, I doubt she'd get a mortgage on any terms at her age, though she might.
And the tax free lump sum can provide the deposit I suppose.

She will get the consent order, I'll be making sure of that. I am just trying to ensure she doesn't go down any blind alleys on his say so before that, or it will all just take longer and be more stressful in the long run.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 06/05/2018 09:58

He can't draw it, but she can - she needs an actuary (via her solicitor) to make sure she gets her fair share (my mum walked away with about 70% because he was younger and could still add to his.

lifebegins50 · 06/05/2018 17:26

How are there no assets if he has earned throughout the marriage? Just seems hard to believe.

ShinyShooney · 06/05/2018 17:52

What have they been doing with their money to have no assets at all?! Are you sure there's nothing hidden?

He does seem to be been extremely generous so far- transferring half his wage when they've no dependant children and no mortgage to pay. Perhaps it will all be ok?

VanGoghsDog · 06/05/2018 19:18

He can't draw it, but she can - she needs an actuary (via her solicitor) to make sure she gets her fair share (my mum walked away with about 70% because he was younger and could still add to his.

Thank you - yes, I was thinking about this overnight and it seems a good way forward. She's not wanted to divorce so far but she is now talking about needing something a bit more certain, for herself, so if the pension is split and in her name then I can see that would really help her with that.

How are there no assets if he has earned throughout the marriage? Just seems hard to believe.

He hasn't always been a high earner and she has almost never worked. He (and she, to a lesser extent, as he took total control) is rubbish with money, but thinks he is very good with it, and they were in loads of debt. They sold their house to move, he had remortgaged twice, increasing the loan, plus had other debts, he used the equity to pay down all the other debts (he didn't manage to pay them all) and they moved into a rented house.
My sister inherited £5k and he used it to pay a (personal) tax bill he "wasn't expecting".
He then left her. In a rented house, with no job, no home of their own. They even lease the car (he thinks this is 'better value').

It's not the way I would, or have, live my life and I find it hard to talk to her about without screaming "how could you be so fucking stupid" as she is partly responsible for the financial mess - but there's not much point, is there?

Are you sure there's nothing hidden?

Totally sure.

He does seem to be been extremely generous so far- transferring half his wage when they've no dependant children and no mortgage to pay.

Or....just fair? I don't think it's "generous", I actually think if she had gone down the court route already she'd be getting more. And she doesn't get half, she gets half after both their living costs are paid and she has no control over his (and little over hers as she cannot move as she won't be able to rent without an income so has to stay in the house they had previously rented and keep her fingers crossed the landlord doesn't change his mind about her)

I think it will be OK overall but she doesn't want to rent forever, she wants a bit more stability and they agreed that as part of a divorce he would ensure she had a purchased property in her name - but it's hard to see how that can be achieved.

She does also have slightly high expectations - she thinks that because the two of them would "probably" have bought a four-bed detached house, that is what she will get. I keep telling her, no, half, you get half. She says well, I can't live in a two bedroom house, can I? Er....yes? She says but why should she, when she would have had a four bed, I have to explain to her that she might have done, but he would have been living there as well, and now he has to house himself too (albeit OW is housing him for free) she is not going to get the house the two of them would have had.

It's all slightly insulting - I live in a small 3-bed terraced house which is all mine, all paid for, no support from anyone else ever. I have to do a lot of tongue-biting!

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