Cutting out the back story after a difficult couple of years my husband has made it clear he no longer feels anything for me and that we are, to all intents and purposes, separated. I would like us to work through things (and in fact until recently thought we were) but he would rather ignore the entire situation and throw himself into work.
Which leaves me in total limbo. In a marriage where I am not loved and in a home where conversation is minimal. I spend every evening watching tv in my room - he is in the spare room.
We are fairly well off but all our money is tied up - predominantly in the family home. He doesn’t want to move out (although periodically says he will) mainly as he doesn’t want to be away from the kids. He also is adamant that he will let me have everything but wants to earn enough money that he can support our house and his (he run a growing business so this is likely to come about but no time line on when he making enough).
So what do I do? If I force a proper separation which would allow me to start to properly come to terms with all of this and start to feel like I’m moving forward, I feel like my only option is to instigate a divorce and force the sale of our home. Which I don’t think I can do, I’m not strong enough.
But the flip side is that he holds all the cards. He’s out of the house when he’s working, I’m at home like a glorified au pair and whether we officially split seems to be all down to him. He knows I don’t want it and yet I can’t really talk to anyone as we put on this facade of still being together. Yet the flip side is I’d get to keep my home eventually and financially all the money we have is shared as ever.
I just feel really paralysed- what should I do, suck it up until he’s ready, force a split, force a timeline on how long this goes on?
I have days where I feel fine and others where I want to crawl into bed and cry all day. I’m not sure what the long term effect of this will be if it carries on too long.
Thanks for any advice 