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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Help please

11 replies

Maddiemoo4 · 18/04/2018 22:19

Hi I'm really new to this and really confused and scared. Me and my husband have been together for 14 years we've literally grown up today we have 4 gorgeous children but are currently separated. I've just started a new job as our youngest starts school soon and I wanted independence after 12 years at home with children
But he has said it's him or the job. He is quite controlling and scares me when he gets angry. I don't want to back down again as I've done it all our time together but also I'm so scared of the future. Any advise would be great. Thank you.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 19/04/2018 10:24

He's a thoroughly abusive bully. Obviously you should chose the job and stick to your guns.

See a family solicitor. Make sure It's one you feel confident with and supported by. Divorce his sorry arse.

MarieG10 · 20/04/2018 08:01

Omg what an awful controlling man. The fact that you are currently separated says it all. Stick with the job and stay separated

Cat12321 · 20/04/2018 10:11

Pick the job. It's your financial independence and it's so important. Your H is probably worried that he's losing control with you starting a new job, earning your own money and meeting new people.

12 years is a long time, think about you for a change Thanks

Xenia · 20/04/2018 10:47

Pick the job. He is just trying it on. You will do better working than not.
Also whatever happens your job is what will protect your children - husband might disappear and not pay a penny and your job will feed the children. he cannot make you give up work.

letsdolunch321 · 20/04/2018 10:52

Him or the job eh !!!!

Stay with the job, he sounds an absolute charmer!!. Stay separated, with an attitude like that he doesn’t deserve a woman who has found herself a job having been at home with the children.

Original poster
Maddiemoo4 · 21/04/2018 08:17

Just seems to be getting worse not better. I went to take our sons to the local pub last night as the weather was beautiful only for some dinner as he was busy with our daughters dancing show. And he went mad at me saying i was selfish and parading the fact we were separated. I just can't seem to do anything right. Thanks for all your advice ladies I just feel lonely x

OP posts:
Dragongirl10 · 21/04/2018 08:25

Op he is an abusive, conttrolling bully, please dismiss anything nasty he says HE IS WRONG AND NASTY, it is not you, not at all.

Take the job get your independance back and keep away from him, divorce him asap, he sounds horrible.

So sorry op, but you have a light at the end of the tunnel, grab it with both hands and make a new life without him.

MrsBertBibby · 21/04/2018 08:34

Parade your little heart out! Why in the world is your separation meant to be a secret?

Original poster
Maddiemoo4 · 21/04/2018 09:13

It just feels scary, the unknown the fact i will be alone with 4 kids at 32, I have no parents to ask for help or emotional support as they have both passed away. I just want some independence that's all and it's caused all this. I'm exhausted x

OP posts:
Original poster
Maddiemoo4 · 21/04/2018 09:13

Because he cares about what everyone around him sees and thinks, it's stupid x

OP posts:
Dragongirl10 · 21/04/2018 11:40

Op being alone with 4 kids will be much easier than how you have been living, for starters you won't have anyone undermining you.

You would be able to make decision without criticism and bullying.

You are 32 that is an adult you do not need him to live your life. Be confident and choose the life you want,

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