Will I have to pay spousal maintenance!?

[Tutuye]

The reason I am divorcing my husband is because he has steadfastly refused to get a job and help support us, he insists on running a business which makes no money instead. Spousal maintenance is paid from the higher earner to the lower earner if they cannot support themselves on what they earn, yes? Please dear god tell me there isn't a way he will be able to get me to pay maintenance out of my hard won earnings so he can continue to run his fucking business?!

Talking from a friend’s experience. Couple met at uni. The wife worked hard and had a good career in the city, hard work, long commute etc. Husband had a business making no money but took care of the kids. They divorced. He got half the house and maintenance!

Who takes care of the kids is relevant - it's fair enough if one spouse sacrificed their earning potential to allow the other to forge ahead that that should be recognised at least for a time that they may not be able to immediately be self supporting.

Can i argue the case that i in no way wanted to 'forge ahead' with my career but was forced to because he refused? We plan, afaik to share custody 50/50.

My xh initially made noises about me paying him spousal maintenance, I worked twice the hours that he did and earned 3 times as much and he felt he deserved it for looking after the kids 4 hours a week. Didn't bring it up when negotiating though, he'd clearly been told by his sol that he'd never get it, as he was definitely in a position to work f-t.

Spousal maintenance is of course legally possible, but does tend to be quite rare. It tends to be when (a) very high earner, and (b) lower earner has sacrified something - like a career - to support the other one getting to a higher earning status. That doesn't sound like you. Even if it was paid, it would likely be time limited. But other assets, such as any pension built up, and savings, certainly are in the mix.

'luckily' thanks to his actions we have nothing - no pensions, savings or house

My XH tried this on, said he had sacrificed his career to allow me to work. Therefore I had to subsidise him until retirement age. I was the one who had gone p-t after kids but did earn more and was paid bonuses. I’d always tried to support him with job applications etc in the hope he would get promoted and said we should get nanny if he couldn’t help with childcare as much.
Anyway, our mediator politely suggested my XH check his legal advice. We have children 50-50 between us now and I insisted on clean break. I had to give him more equity to agree the deal but as he has less ability to borrow I thought that was fair (although he could try earning more...) No way was I going to pay maintenance for him but we do have joint account for kids’s clubs, uniform, parties and I contribute more to that.
Good luck, make sure you have good legal advice. But as others have said, maintenance is far less common now, and if granted is often for a few years rather than ‘forever’.

Hi
I run a business with husband helping with some admin. However he had (I suspect) an affair with a married woman. He denied it and told me I was paranoid, loopy etc. (And told my adult children who live with us. I am supporting him financially. This is the second time I have suspected he has bee seeing a woman behind my back. He denied it last time as well. I cannot trust him. Children are dependent on me and husband has poor health. He drinks a lot in pub ( when he was able to) and met both women there.

He is very clever, but selfish and rude.
Do not know what to do. Advice anyone?
Thank you

The affair and the adult children are not relevant to the financial settlement.

He will have a claim on assets. If his illness prevents him from working he may be entitled to more support. You need to speak to a solicitor. As they are expensive use the time wisely. Legally his behaviour isn’t going to change what he is entitled to.

You could also speak to your accountant about the structure of your business. It might be possible to make changes that protect your interests.

Length of marriage will come into it as well but a solicitor will guide you best.

Thank you.
I am in a difficult situation. I have the same accountant as my husband has for his business. My husband is quite dominant. He is in poor physical health but mentally very good. In is only in the last 5 years I have realised how controlling and how he can lie easily. Once this pandemic is over, I need to decide what to do.
Thank you for your replies