dumped and pregnant

[Sarahpx]

Hi everyone. I am 18 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. I have a 3 year old too (with the same partner) and we have been together almost 5 years.

My partner has decided he no longer loves me and has left me. He works offshore and went away the same day that he finished with me. I haven't told anyone he has left me as I am so embarrassed when everything seemed to be fine. I have literally begged him to give me another chance, which I know is desperate but I don't know how I will cope as a single mum. We have recently purchased a house and car and everything seemed fine. I have reason to believe he is messaging another woman.

Has anyone else been in this position?

Aw OP I really feel for you. Having your partner walk out on you is heartbreaking, never mind when your pregnant. But please believe me when I say you can absolutely get through this.

Almost 6 months ago my husband of 5 years done the exact same thing to me - turned round and said he didn't think he loved me anymore and was leaving. I was 27 weeks pregnant and had a 3 year old already. I was absolutely distraught - how was my dd going to cope with him leaving and then becoming a big sister? How was I going to cope as a single mum with a toddler and a 3 year old? Not long after he left it came out he has met a teenage girl 3 weeks before and began an affair. He then moved her in 1 week before my due date and made no attempt to be at our child's birth.

Present day - I now raise our 2 DD's pretty much on my own and I could not be happier. My 3 year old is thriving in every way possible and my almost 3 month old is the happiest, healthiest little baby. He sees them for a few hours a week and barely makes any effort so we do it on our own. I won't lie - in the beginning it's really tough. The lack of sleep, hormones etc makes some days seem almost unbearable and it sometimes killed me seeing how he flaunted his new life and girlfriend. But I survived and you absolutely can too. I actually realised that i appreciated doing it on my own - not having anyone let me down meant I stepped up and was in charge of everything. I got the girls in a great routine and was so busy and pre occupied that I never realised how fast the time went in and how much it helped heal.

You will survive because you have to and one day you will realise you don't hurt as much any more, you smile more and you need him less and less because you all deserve better. Take all the help you can from your family and friends, Involve your eldest in every way possible with their new role and most importantly enjoy your time with both your babies. It goes in too fast, don't let what he has done ruin it. You have got this.

Hello

Virgo- well done for surviving through the tough time.

Sarah- haven't been in your situation. The only thing I can say that even if he had come Back, it would never be right again. He would probably have another affair...Just stay strong baby and talk to people as having the support of others is just crucial. My husband had an affair 10 y down the marriage while we were trying to have a baby. Found out of the affair when finally got preg. Miscarried a week later. Took him back. He had more affairs. It has never been good for the past 10 y. Trying to divorce him now....In a few years time you will be glad that he had never came back.