This is going to be a long one
My friend is going through a divorce and needs to know what to expect. I will try not to drip feed
My friend has been married for 14 years and has 2 dc now at college. Father is stbexh.
In all that time she has been EA (she has evidence). Then during one particular incident last October the police were called and H was removed from the flat they both own and an injunction was put in place. Which he has broken on numerous occasions.
With him out of the family home she started divorce proceedings.
He has asked her to call off the divorce on many occassions but with such ludicrous strings attached (Cant say what they were as it would out her) that no one in their right mind would agree to.
When she has complained to the police the response has been that they will have a chat with him.
Because of certain circumstances he is very friendly with the all local police.
Their reply to her on each incident is he has been charged and the file has gone to the CPS. Then when she calls to find out what is happening they say that they are unsure what to charge him with so friend feels that their is no one protecting her. There have been several incidents where she has been the victim of criminal damage and feels unsafe and all she gets from the police is that their is no evidence. She knows this but it doesn’t make it any less frightening.
When friend started the divorce proceedings it was on the grounds of his EA behaviour. He is now saying he is the abused one in the relationship. He is contesting the divorce.
In all the time they have been together they have never had a family holiday although stbexh would spend months every year going back to his home country. My friend has been the main carer to their dc. When he was in the house he either ignored them all or screamed abuse at her.
He has given her nothing since this all started. He cancelled his life insurance and the home insurance policies which she has had to start again otherwise they would have been in breach of the mortgage T&Cs.
The issues my friend is facing is that her solicitor seems to be in awe of her husbands solicitor. He doesn’t seem to be thinking for himself. EG stbexh demanded that the dc spend every weekend and holiday with him. Instead of pointing out they are adults and no one is going to force an adult to spend every weekend and holiday with either parent. Her solicitor thought his request was quite reasonable. Equally despite stbexh working she has had nothing to live on since they split as her solicitor hadn’t gone for any maintenance for her whilst the divorce was proceeding.
The solicitor never froze stbexhs assets when everything started. Stbexh had a business which appears to now have been sold. They have in joint names the flat they shared and another flat they rent out.
My friends solicitor seems to think that as the business is now not there then she cannot make a claim on it. Stbexh says he doesn’t have any money so friends solicitor says he can’t give her any to pay any bills.
The rent from the rental flat goes in a joint account which stbexh is taking out his half and leaving friend to pay all the bills and live on the rest.
Friend has her first court date soon. It was supposed to be before Christmas but had to be moved because stbexh failed to fill form E out properly and omitted things. He has still not filled out all the forms correctly
My friend is disabled caused by an “accident”. in all honesty she will never walk unaided or work again.
Friend would like to stay in the family home which has been modified for her disability but the way her solicitor is talking he thinks the rental flat would have to be sold to pay stbexhs debts (He gambles heavily and has run up substantial debts) and the family home will have to be sold and the proceeds split.
Friend fears for her future and doesn’t know which way to turn. Her stbexh is running up debts and taking out loans and her solicitor is saying they will have to be paid from the joint pot. In the meantime friend is relying on the kindness of friends to stock her cupboards and help her out financially. Surely this can’t be right.
Any advise would be very much appreciated. Her solicitor has hired a barrister for her but she has never spoken to him and all she knows is he will meet her at court on the day. She doesn’t know what to expect when she gets there.. Her solicitor also seemed quite surprised that friend was disabled despite being told on several occasions and presenting quite obviously as disabled.
Thank you for reading if you got this far.