Chances of me forcing house sale of large 5 bed house to release my equity

[Violetblu22]

So briefly, stbxh and I spilt. I left with 4 children due to emotional abuse to us all and his moods. It was like living with Jekyll and Hyde. He point blank refused to move and still does so. He has told me his solicitor has told him a court would never force the large 5 bedroom home we own to be sold until youngest two are 18 which is 6 years away. The house has a lot of equity- enough to buy a 3 bed terraced house each.

My solicitor has told me a court can and would force a sale. Thing is I just cannot afford the £10k fees I’ve been quoted with the risk it will not end in a forced sale.
Also is it possible a court would give me more than 50% equity to allow me to buy a 4 bedroom home to a accommodate us all more comfortably. Stbxh is adamant he will be entitled to a larger share as he has put in more financially. We have been married 20 years.

He has also given up his job so he doesn’t have to pay maintenance and because he thinks I will be In his favour to him getting a larger share of the equity in the end. Previous to this he was earning more than 2.5 x what I do. He can afford to live as he has rented out 2 of the bedrooms. Which he again says is a reason no court would force a sale. He would not afford to buy me out as he would not get a mortgage to do so.

Children do not stay overnight with him as they don’t want to because of lodgers. I also pay half the mortgage at present as he said if I don’t he won’t pay anything. Fortunately it is not a huge amount. I’m really struggling financially right now but he doesn’t care whether I have enough money to feed the children or not as in his words it was my decision to move out.

Is he giving you half of the income for the lodgers? Seeing as he’s letting out your jointly owned asset?

He’s denying they pay him anything. I just want this nightmare over so I can move forwards with my life.
Maybe I should stop paying the mortgage in the hope he does and the bank gets involved. I don’t want thousands pounds worth of charges or a bad credit score as a result.

I can't comment on the legal stuff. But in my divorce (so only my experience) my ex wanted to stay in the house. His solicitor and the mediator both advised him that unless he was prepared to pay me the full 50% equity that was in the house, a court would enforce him selling, as otherwise we would not both be in a similar position going forward. He did claim the higher income bit too, but was told it was irrelevant. I stopped paying the mortgage for the year he was digging his heels in and that was made into a financial adjustment when the sale went through.

How many children are there altogether? Are they all with you, or are some with him?

And how old are they all!?

Is the mortgage in joint names? If it is I would stop paying it but speak to the bank first and see if it can be taken as a payment holiday?

Any point in gaining an occupation order to move back in?

I think it's highly likely the court would force sale as clean breaks are favoured and the DC need to be housed not just the Ex.

There are 4 children all with me. I earn £15k per year (minimum wage and not quite full time hour but looking to get another part time job to top up if possible) and claim tax credits to top up income.

My parents are subsidising the rent for where we are now but obviously they cannot afford to do it long term nor would I expect them to.

He was earning approx. £38k and is skilled in what he does so would easily get another job. When together we only got child benefit.

You should be able to claim housing benefit as a short term measure as you left due to emotional abuse/abusive relationship in as much it was impossible for you to stay whilst you divorced.

Yes joint names. My solicitor said an occupation order would cost around £2k in fees and again it’s no guarantee to go in mine and the children’s favour.
He really doesn’t believe that our children and their needs come first, he keeps going on about how unfair it all is to him.

Where are you in the divorce process? This should be mediated in the financial aspect of the divorce i imagine.

Get legal advice and get the divorce sorted and go for whatever works best for you and your kids

Would there be any scope for him to be ordered to pay your solicitors fees if it's his unreasonableness that's preventing an amicable outcome?

Sounds like you need a solicitor that specialises in dealing with divorce in abusive situations. The fees can be paid from the proceeds of selling the house surely?

Bloody internet ate my post.

OP solicitors never guarantee an outcome because That's how you get sued, but no, the Court won't defer sale when the kids Don't live there, and they won't defer sale for lodgers, especially non paying ones.

You need to issue, nothing else will work. Stop wasting money on talking, get issued, and trudge through. No amount of talk will change him. He is either nuts, or deliberately acting nuts because this situation suits him.

Listen to your solicitor and issue. Or stop wasting money on lawyers and carry on as you are.

Thankyou to everyone for the helpful advice especially MrsBertBibby. I has helped to give me the confidence to move forwards and tell my solicitor to issue so we can sort out the financial stage. We have done the decree nisi stage and this is holding it up going any further.