Feelings...

[SpringerLink]

Did anyone else feel elated when their partner finally agreed to move out?

My H has been telling me he's moving out for months, since the end of last year. He agreed in Feb to move out by the end of March but then made no progress in actually doing it. Now he has finally texted to say hee's found a flat.

Each time, I expect to feel sad that my 18 year relationship is coming to an end, but I jsut feel elated.

I am sad for my DC, who will see a lot less of their Dad. I am sad for him, becuase he is has never had to take any resposibility for his life before and he must be scared and overwhelmed. But I'm not sad for me.

Will it all come crashing down soon? I know he's going to be a massive pain to deal with over contact with the children, I'm expecting him to continue to be unreliable and difficult, and I know that life as a single parent is not going to be easy. So why do I feel so happy about this??

Because it's a milestone of sorts. And you will be able to make some steps, even just small ones like rearranging your furniture, and just-breathe-without him in your space.
There will be some difficulties ahead probably- no divorce goes totally smoothly I think-but this is something to feel good about!

After I got over the initial shock (his infidelity) I too regularly felt elated. Shock manifested as mild panic attacks on the way back from work when I realised the enormity of the situation (ie single mum). I cried plenty about the unfairness of it all on the kids but strangely never over him. I think that I did most of my grieving in the relationship when he inexplicably (the answer came later) turned very cruel. Seven months later I am still blinking from the sunlight so to speak. I am seeing a counsellor to make sure I am not burying a great big pile of undealt with feelings for another time but she seems to think that I am recovering well. I can't believe (a) how great my parents and friends are and (b) that I have another shot at happiness- starting (and maybe ending who knows) with the independence I now have. Bit Pollyanna for a divorce/separation thread but hey! He's still an arse to deal with but it is only reconfirming that I was right to give him the heave when I found out.