Surname changing

[Helpnow1]

Musing over the idea of changing back to my maiden name after the divorce. I don't like the idea of having different name from the DCs but actually it was DS who brought up the idea, in respect of himself!!

I personally feel who cares if you have a different surname to your DC. They will always be your children and you will always be their Mum. A name means very little. I do understand why some women feel that way but it’s more for possessive reasons. Nothing actually changes but you may feel like a renewed women starting life again. I’d go for it. I wouldn’t keep my ex husbands name once divorced as I know for me it’d feel like a clean slate. The kids won’t care either if your name is different, you’re Mum to them

I'm actually changing my name today by deed poll even though I haven't even applied for the divorce yet. I'm starting a new business and want to start as I mean to go on. I think it will make my life complicated for a while but I really want a fresh start. Incidentally I'm using my mother's maiden name as I didn't want to go backwards to my original name but I still like the idea of a family tie. My Stbex is apoplectic about this because it means no going back. Quite a scary day for me but also liberating.

My ds recently asked me the very same thing. I also don't want a different surname to them. Not sure why it is so important to me, I don't feel like I am hanging on to an expired marriage, but having a different name to them is keeping me from changing.

Maybe I will change my mind, I am not even divorced yet.

I’ve been separated for 5 years and divorced for 3 now. Initially I wanted to keep my name to have the same name as DC but then after a while I changed my mind. I wanted to be ‘me’ again not ex-dh name. So, after a year I changed it on social media to maiden name and then on everything else once divorce was finalised.
If DD ever asks I explain that women have their fathers name until they marry then they take husbands name and so I have my Dad’s name and she has her Dad’s name. It leads to the discussion of patriarchy and the future which is always good.

Thank you all for your posts. It's very interesting to get other viewpoints. It was something I'd never really thought about until now, but why should I keep the name which is that of my stbxh and his mother , instead of re-taking the name I had before when I was happy and free and which is shared by my lovely family?

Vanillarose, wishing you the very best of luck with your new business x