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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Should I reply to solicitor letter from ex?

17 replies

Rusmum24 · 25/03/2018 13:41

Hello, I have received a threatening letter from my ex partner which is full of false accusations and inaccuracies. Our baby is only one month old and he has had no contact yet. The latest letter states that I am not allowed to ever make contact with him it has to be via his solicitor.

My question is - is it ok to reply to his solicitor directly acknowledging receipt of the letter and stating it contains inaccurate info? I cannot afford a solicitor and dont qualify for legal aid.

Can someone also confirm if each time i send a letter back to his solicitor does he need to pay her for more time so she can share the response with him?

Seems like a colossal waste of time and money for him if so!

OP posts:
gallicgirl · 25/03/2018 13:44

What is the purpose of the correspondence?

You can certainly write back to the solicitor yourself, you don't need to employ your own solicitor to correspond with them. Whether your ex will be charged per hour for work undertaken depends on his contract with his solicitor.

PilarTernera · 25/03/2018 13:45

Why do you say it is a threatening letter? What is he threatening to do?

Rusmum24 · 25/03/2018 13:50

gallicgirl - I dont really want to send any response and don't see any purpose in doing so but I was told it will be held against me in court and looks bad if I do not respond?

PilarTernera - so my ex has accused me of making up malicious allegations against him (he said he hasnt denied paternity of the child even though the CSA have evidence of this..) he wants to take me to court for a harassment order based on this even though i have never contacted him except once in the whole 10 months since we split up.

OP posts:
gallicgirl · 25/03/2018 14:02

If I were to reply, I'd say nothing more than "these allegations are untrue and I will not correspond further about this".

Caveat, I have no legal training.

He sounds like an arse though. He would have to provide evidence of the harassment so doesn't sound like he's got much chance unless you bombarded him in the past.

PilarTernera · 25/03/2018 14:06

Who told you it would 'look bad' if you don't respond? Do they have any legal qualifications?

What is he threatening to take you to court for?

PilarTernera · 25/03/2018 14:08

Is it onlythat he claims you are harassing him and he wants you to stop harassing him? No request for contact with his child?

Rusmum24 · 25/03/2018 15:09

gallicgirl Yes that’s what I thought about doing just wasn’t sure if it was the right course of action.

PilarTernera I’ve just read on other forums that it looks bad if you don’t respond and some of my family have also said the same. I’m not interested in entering a costly battle with this guy. I only care about the child. He hasn’t requested any contact.

OP posts:
Alabama3 · 25/03/2018 15:12

I would send (numbered) letters with one word in and hope he was being charged per letter

nordicflamingo · 25/03/2018 15:14

What is he seeking?

PilarTernera · 25/03/2018 15:29

If it were me, I would not send any letter. He is probably just bluffing, but if he takes you to court, that will be your chance to counter his lies. If you have nothing to do with him, there will be no evidence of harassment.

The best course of action is to disengage and stay away from him. As he is not having contact with your child, you have no reason to communicate with him at all.

TheFaerieQueene · 25/03/2018 15:33

A solicitor’s letter means nothing at this point. Just forget about it. They are acting on their client’s instructions and quite likely advised against sending this letter to you, but he probably insisted.
A solicitor has no power over you.

Aprilmightmemynewname · 25/03/2018 15:41

My exh instructed his solicitor to write to me complaining I had put blinds up preventing him spying on me!!
Solicitors will do owt for cash ime.
File and ignore.
Enjoy your dc.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 25/03/2018 15:42

You can reply saying the allegations are untrue OR if this ever gets to court, make SURE whoever is representing you mentions that you have only contacted him once and what was the purpose of the contact.

Some people feel attacked, cornered, insulted and victims of a money grabbing ex just for the mere act of somebody asking them to paya small part of their salary as child maintenance and will fight it as if it was a proper war.

Dogdays123 · 06/04/2018 00:33

Personally, I like ‘thank you for your letter. Your comments are noted’

Jon66 · 06/04/2018 00:38

Thank you for your letter the contents are noted is the stock reply. Doesn't give any information or assist them in any way, doesn't invite dialogue.

HeddaGarbled · 06/04/2018 00:42

The letter has come from your ex, not his solicitor? I think that's safe to ignore. If you get a letter from his solicitor, then it would be sensible to respond as suggested by PPs.

blaaake · 06/04/2018 00:47

"That's nice, dear."

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