Asking ex for house equity in exchange for maintenance payments

[LikeABundleOfHay]

We broke up a year ago and have 1 DC. Not married. We still co-own the house that I live in. I really want to separate finances and am thinking of asking ex to give me his share of the house in return for no more monthly payments. He currently pays over cms minimum but I imagine this won't continue till DC is 18. Calculating on his larger payment, I would lose money on this deal but I'd struggle to buy another house on my own with my small deposit (and crappy salary) and it would be lovely to cut the financial link to ex.

Has anyone done this? How do we sort it out legally? Will I regret not having an extra bit of money coming in during the expensive teenage years?

Somehow need to broach the subject with him without my usual rage....

Not normally feasible as 12 months after any court order you can approach CMS to initiate payments from the ex as far as I'm aware so regardless what is agreed he knows that is a possible course of action and it's only your word saying you won't

My parents done this, they always got on well after the break up and still get on well now so if he's a decent person he should say yes as it's not skin off his nose really

I made this offer to my ex in similar circumstances but he dismissed it out of hand for the reason given by wobytide. I would never have tried to claim child maintenance if he'd agreed but he is a cunt who will do anything to avoid paying maintenance so he judged me by his own standards. It's a good solution between two decent adults.

If he has sense he won’t. I’m sure you are probably very nice but my partner did this with his ex wife. He had paid the mortgage, she never paid a penny. He signed his house over on the exact same arrangement and she took him for child support too.

You wouldn’t regret it because what is the alternative? You sell then you can’t afford a new mortgage on a new house so you’d forever be throwing money away renting.

Unfortunately some women give the rest of us a terrible name but he has absolutely no guarantee you won’t go after him besides your word

Thanks for the advice. Not the simple solution I was hoping for!

Yes there is no legal recourse to stop you after 12 months going stright to CMS and he would have 0 recourse about the house so he would be an idiot to do so. I am sorry but its a really really bad deal for him as all he has is your word you wont go to cms and no piece of paper (aka your agreement) will stop them chasing him for payment.

I think you could actually but you'd have to get it written into the court order as an undertaking that you'd not vary the agreement that was stated in the order.