Stbx mud slinging the day before our FDR - upsetting, is this normal and how to respond

[thisishard2]

Writing to my solicitor today, following our offer (he has made no offer), telling her that I have never had the kids' best interests at heart and he can't see that I ever will. And that he is not going to allow the experiment of me looking after them on my own.

(Yet apparently it has been fine for me to look after them alone every time he has recently spent the night away, or all the times he worked away from home in the past).

The whole thing had had me, yet again, questioning myself. Which I guess was the intention.

He also told her that I should make an effort to get a job. I do have a job - just a badly paid one. Term time only but I will change that. It will still be low paid though. At least for now, until I can find my feet.

At least I definitely know that he is not my friend.

Yes, its to rattle you.Ex was vicious at FDR, as barristers were gping between teams ti negotiate he would lie and be insulting about me.
I think it shows they can only use insults/bullying behaviour to try to win.

I hope it goes well.Let us know the result.

Thank you, I will. How did yours go Hermonie?

Sorry for typos! I got a better deal than offered at meditation but not what I had hoped for.

I think a court solution will disappoint both parties but if your ex is totally unreasonable then you have no choice.
I was accepting of the outcome but ex is still livid however he is a high conflict individual and will never see anyone elses perspective so will always be ragey.
Good Luck, the outcome seems very Judge dependant and Baroness Deech proposal on spousal might be influencing some judges to only offer short term SM irrespective of circumstances.

It went okay - 7.5 hours in court and we reached an agreement. The Judge was on my side in terms of what we were offering, but it looked as if his opinion wasn't going to make ex budge from his unpalatable offer position. Eventually though he did budge, and though I didn't get everything I had wanted - I did get the main thing, and most importantly a clean break. Ex's offer would have had him still have control in my life - albeit indirectly.

Yes it was nerve wracking and draining, but also exhilarating. My barrister was great. So was the Judge.

Will PM you Hermonie.