Hi, I have been separated from my husband for just over two years now. It was my decision to leave,there were trust issues and he could be quite controlling.
At the beginning I was positive and moved forward without a problem, knowing I’d made the right choice. I rented a house for me and the kids, everyone commented how different I was ( outgoing and laughing more) everything was fine.
In the last 6 months my husband asked to try again, we had been more or less amicable throughout and if I’m being honest I had started to feel as though I missed the family unit and started to doubt my original decision. After a lot of thought we went out to talk. He said all the right things for eg “ I love you and want to make it work” “I realise I wasn’t always right” “I hate dating it’s you I want”...... he has been in many dating sites in our time apart and swore he would delete them all.
I found out two weeks after our date he was in fact still on them and felt devastated as he had also been chatting in them. I felt hurt and bs k to square one with the trust thing.
I told him I couldn’t go back as in my eyes if he meant what he said he would’ve deleted them and concentrated on us. He said he wasn’t sure if I was serious about reconciling and said he wasn’t doing anything wrong as it was my choice to leave in the first place! I know it’s doomed, I feel we’ve been apart too long but I just can’t let go and it’s driving me mad. I’ve stopped all contact apart from texts re the kids but I am struggling now. It’s so hard I know deep down I would be setting myself and the kids up for a fall but I can’t help thinking about what could of been. Please talk some sense into me!!!!