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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Taking the children and leaving the family home

3 replies

Banana2621 · 19/03/2018 10:03

Ok so really scary time for me. I have been married for nearly 14 years and together for 20.
The last 7 years or so have been difficult since I was accused of having an affair (I wasn't). Tried marriage guidance and solo counselling but three years ago he decided he was going to leave. Told older kids (@ time 24 and 21) and younger ones (@ time 8 and 6). I took off my wedding ring because of how much he had hurt younger ones. Since then he has slept on sofa. He didn't leave!
Anyway, I have been looking to rent somewhere on my own. I have now got somewhere and I'm all signed and have keys etc. Getting white goods delivered and getting carpets laid.
Now having a panic about whether the younger kids (now 11 and 9) will want to come with me. It's a smaller house, with a smaller garden. Neither of them deal with change much. They were too small to remember when we first moved house.
I'm bricking it about telling their dad who seems to think all is fine though he still sleeps on sofa and we don't have physical contact. I'm bricking it about telling the older kids (step children) and now about the younger ones not wanting to come with me.
How do I start the conversation with any of them? Please help me someone :'(

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 19/03/2018 10:11

Have you seen a solicitor to discuss how your assets are split? Seems unfair that you have to leave and rent somewhere.

mammymammyIRL · 19/03/2018 19:18

He's been sleeping on sofa for three years?

Your younger dc will surely be excited about new rooms etc, does their father have an active part in their lives?

Onlyoldontheoutside · 20/03/2018 23:02

What have you already told your children?They will know things are not normal.
How is caring for the children sorted ,school,activities?
Tell the younger children that you have got a new house for them and when you will all be moving.
Also,if you can talk to your husband first to see how he wants to share child care.
Also maybe time to file for divorce or at least see a solicitor so the date of separation is noted.
I think if you just move with the younger children with confidence that they will be coming with you.I think when everything is ready,set a date,be in charge,go.
Looking to a new future.Wine

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