After 13 years together I have decided to separate from my husband and I'm at a complete loss with what to do next.
Back story - 2 DC's, 10 and 8. Together for 13 years, married for nearly 4. I live in his house, he bought it before me so I just moved in, I've never paid any bills, paid towards the mortgage. I stayed at home and raised the children and I've bought he shopping and anything else needed since my return to work 2 years ago.
It's been a horrendous year - due to things in husbands past he would get very low and have very dark moods, never violent towards me or the children I might add. I'd walk through the door and wouldn't know what mood I was walking into, walking on eggshells etc.
Last year it all came to a head and I told him I couldn't do it anymore. He went to counselling, moods have stopped but the problems seems to be manifesting in other ways - he went through a very very clingy stage where I couldn't move for him, then there was the stage where he would make little 'remarks' about everything, remarks that were entirely uncalled for below the belt but he was 'only joking'. And most recently it feels as though I'm being interrogated about everything, like he doesn't believe me and he is looking to catch me out on things.
I've decided I can't do it anymore, this last year has been so draining and I'm at my lowest point. He is a brilliant father and ultimately he is not a bad person so ideally (yes I know) I want it to be as amicable as possible for the children. I just have no idea where to go from here - the house that isn't actually mine, whether I'm brave enough to stick to my guns and go through with it.
He's in work today but we're going to talk later, we spoke this morning on the phone and he knows I'm at the point of no return.
Sorry for the massive ramble!