Alcoholic husband

[Sander3124]

Hi all,

Writing on here to see if anyone has been through the same and how it has ended in. Essentially my husband has been an alcoholic for 5 years. Sadly, it has to get to breaking point every time for him to say that he will change and never drink again. I forgive every time for the sake of my two children, and actually the sober man I married, I love. He has let me down so many times, lied, physically and mentally hurt me (and once our son) therefore it’s hard to ever build trust. He gave up dtibkinh for 4 weeks after Christmas as on Christmas Eve he was so drunk he became so threatening I told him this was his last ever chance. 5 weeks later he’s drinking vodka from the bottle again secretly.

So do I stick to my guns and tell him that’s it? Or believe he will stop drinking this time? If I do leave, do I move out and privately rent somewhere and he can live in our family home? Does anyone know If I am entitled to any financial help if I move out whilst having a mortgage still.

Very, very confused!!! X

that sound awful. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I've no advice but wanted to bump this for you.

Why don't you get him out? My father started drinking when I was 13 and my mother got an interdict. There was no violence he was just extremely drunk constantly as he lost his job. He was a chronic alcoholic and died soon. Interdict is expensive but if you can pay the mortgage alone for the sake of your kids it's the right thing.

He's not the married you married anymore, he's an addict. And that need comes before everyone and everything. You can't "fix" him, he's the only person that can do that and all you can do is protect yourself and your DCs from his downward spiral. Both of my uncles were alcoholics - both had massive heart attacks in their early 40s. One survived, and got clean. The other didn't. Both families were destroyed in the process.
Put yourself and your kids first. Because he can't.

Please contact Al-Anon, they are a huge source of support.

OP I am in a very similar position right now. I am married to an alcoholic and am just starting the process of splitting up.

Many solicitors offer 30 minutes consultation for free. I went to see one before I said anything to my husband, just do I had a clearer idea of how things would work out. Alcohol is a cruel mistress. Good luck

Say it frequently on this kinda thread.

As a child of an alcoholic, leave.

It's miserable living with one. He's already abused your son - the children take priority. They need you to protect them. Don't be like my mum and let them down.

Even when they stop drinking they're never the same person again.