How much did your lawyer advise you on how to proceed?

[PerfectlyDone]

Stupid question, I know

But did you instruct your lawyer to do x, y and z, or did you lawyer say to you what to do/what to ask for/for kind of demands to make??

STBXH is dragging his feet, not looking at mortgage/child maintenance (which really are the main 2 things I am interested in - not TVs or what bits of jewellery I have ).
I have divorced friends who are egging me on to string him up by his balls basically (no desire to do that), he behaves as if he is the hard done by party here (affairs, more than one, years of lying and going behind my back etc) and I just want shot of him asap, provided our children are looked after.

So, do I need to instruct the lawyer or will my lawyer do the necessary?? Gawd, I so don't need this stress!

Your lawyer will advise you and you either act on their advise or you instruct them otherwise.

Your paying for their advice, whether you act on it or not is entirely up to you.

Am I making sense :)

Yes, you are making sense and thank you, NotSuch

I suppose I don't know whether I am to say to my lawyer "go for the jugular" or "I want nothing", because I really want our children' s futures to be secured rather than coming out rich and idle IYKWIM.
I want shot of him asap and thankfully can support myself but will be darned if he won't keep supporting his children until they finish full-time education (youngest is 8).

His income is about 3x mine, I have worked part-time since we had DS1, his pension pot is 'full' apparently (public sector pension), mine is about a 1/3 of his. We co-own our house and mortgage with some equity in the house; I would like to keep the house even if I have to pay the mortgage myself (I could just manage that I think). There is a 2nd smaller but not insignificant loan also secure on the house in both our names that I would like him to take over.

I cannot believe it has come to this

I would pull a paper together for your solicitor with all the financial facts you know

Then make a list of what your priorities are financially - start with keeping the house, then him taking on the loan, then other financial "like to haves"

Separately think about what you what in terms of the child arrangements and ongoing financial support and list those too

Doing this should give you a list of questions that you need to ask as well

Provide all of this to your solicitor before your appointment to think about

In the appointment ask the solicitor to give you his/her opinion on your wishlist and what a likely outcome might be/different options and answer your questions

If your STBXH earns three times what you do and has a large public sector pension entitlement I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the value of this, so think about a proposal where he keeps a bigger share of his pension against you keeping the house