How long did it take to recover from divorce?

[Mamioftwo]

How long did it take you to fully recover from heartbreak and excruciating mental pain cause by your ex-spouse?

In the middle of a divorce. And honestly I'm happy to be breaking ties with him (although I can't entirely because we have kids together), and I thought I was done grieving.. but i find myself getting very emotional and having sudden outbursts of tears. He put me through a lot, as I'm sure some of you may have experienced. And I told myself that I forgave him, and we are somewhat civil, but its impossible to forget the terrible things done. I had 3 months of therapy and was on anti-depressants (had therapy after I came off the meds). But I'm afraid if my anxiety is coming back.. he's coming to my town for a few weeks to see the boys. And the thought of seeing him is getting me anxious.

Curious to hear similar stories, and any advice. thanks xx

I was once told, allow a month of recovery for every year you were together. Not sure where that advice came from, but (for me personally) was about right.

Nearly four years and still have moments. The divorce process means you simply cannot forget, then once it's over you need time to adjust. There's anniversaries to learn to get through. Perhaps moving house, getting a new job, dealing with the loss of friends and so on..

My own view is that it depends on how much of a shock it was. The bigger the shock, the more intense the aftershocks. Also, the harder the divorce, the more damage that must be repaired.

It does get better each year for sure.

Thank you 😊 x

I'll try the one month for each year. Might be right for me too. Yeah it does get easier I suppose. When you're in that moment of sadness, it kills me.