Want a Divorve - husband is threatening to the kids to the US

[GabSebs]

Hi all
My situation is complicated. Long story short, I want a divorce com DH as I never really got over his affair (which I found out 2 years ago) despite lots and lots of therapy. DH does not accept it. He says he loves me, life without me has no meaning and so on. Although I really don’t give a .
However, DH is using the children to make me stay.
We are both in the UK on work visas. I am Brazilian and DH and DC hold passports from Brazil and the US (DH is American but naturalised Brazilian after living in Brazil for 10 years).
DH says that if we divorce he will file for full custody of the boys and take him to the US. And the reality is that DH is wealthy and almost at retirement age (he doesn’t really need to work anymore moneywise and our age gap is 17 years!)
I am terrified with the possibility of being away from my boys. I checked and according to the US law I cannot request a green card on the grounds of DCs passport as they were born in brazil and not the US. Therefore, if the judge grants DH custody and he flies to the US, that’s it. I’ve lost my kids.
Not sure what to do other than cry.
DH is a reasonable man most of the time. I just wish we could agree on something reasonable (I want no money and I am totally cool with 50:50 arrangements).
Any advice!?

I think you should Cross post this on one of the Expatriate American forum websites as soon as you can, they should be able to point you in the direction of specialist legal advice. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this stress 💐

How long have you been living in the UK? More than 3 months then it's the children's habitual home. One parent cannot unilaterally take the children away from that home.

I don't think it's lawful what he is saying but of course a terrifying threat. My advice is to get some good advice from here, a free chat with an international family lawyer who understands The Hague Convention and massively decrease any antagonism with your husband or ex. Diffuse the situation, think rationally and both of you consider the children. Take it easy, start a conversation about your future's that doesn't include one parent taking the kids away from the other. There are other ways to live apart but all happy.

How old are the children? Would they be able to object themselves?
I read on another thread about a woman who taught her young children to say "I am not allowed to get on an aeroplane without mummy".