Going back to court - which form

[Kit1411]

Hi, my ex husband too me to Court last year because he claimed that the days weren’t clear enough so he wanted them in an order (he’s always had the same time and hours so really wasn’t any point in him doing that) but even though he didn’t ask for more until the last court hearing he got an extra night on his weekend (now Friday from school until Sunday at 5pm).
But he is so forgetful, he often forgets to bring our sons school bag back on the Sunday, or his school shoes, homework books, gloves, coat etc, I’ve had it all. He then won’t go back and get it or take it to the school on the Monday, I just feel as our son gets older (he’s 5) and he starts having more homework then he’ll be the one to get told off when he doesn’t have it on the Monday. So I’d like to go back to see if I can collect from school on the Friday but he have our son from 6pm (so I keep the school stuff).
Also another reason is I have a step son and a baby on the way - our Christmas’ are alternate, but so are my other half’s, which means both our children have never had a Christmas together and won’t if it carries on this way, so I’d like to ask the court for Christmas again this year when we have my step son then next year we won’t have them and so on, so it feels like a family for them both. Do you think the court would agree with this?

Main question too was what form do I need to go back to court?

Thanks

Bit mean to take away your exes Christmas with his son for 2 years in a row.

Could you not ask your ex to collect him from your house at 6pm first and explain why? and see what he says? Seems a waste of time to go back to court for the sake of an hour. I'm sure when your sone gets older he'll remember his school stuff himself anyway

He’s had the last 3 birthdays because they landed on ‘his’ weekend, I asked for it last year only for his solicitor to come back and bully me into him having him meaning I actually had to cancel the plans I had, so I don’t feel that Iran mean at all seems as he is not reasonable. He had last Christmas which means we’ve had one each, and I’m only talking the day. There is no reasoning with the man, trust me I try and try, I have asked about Christmas but I just get ignored.
I’m sure he will but as a parent his dad for now should be remembering his items and he doesn’t, even his coat, in this weather!!

How come he's having this Christmas again if he had last Christmas?

I meant the Christmas before last. He also had last Easter and will have this Easter fri-sun, my family do a big thing for Easter so it’s unfortunate our son has missed our last year and will this year, he doesn’t do anything for Easter. He also doesn’t do anything with his family Christmas Day, they do their thing on Boxing Day, this was the case when we were together which is why we would see my family Christmas Day and his family Boxing Day.

Its a pity that you can't come to an agreement amicably without having to go in and out of court but if you can't then i guess you will have to go back there to talk specifically about birthdays and holidays like those you mentioned. I guess the thing with Christmas for most parents though when your child is that young, is the whole Santa stuff, you get very few years of that

The form you need is C100, with the current order attached.

But you really need to go to mediation first.

You may well make little headway though, I fear. The court is likely to see this as micromanaging.

I know this kind of thing is teeth-grindingly frustrating, but you'll do better to find workarounds with school etc.

Thank you @Mrs. I agree is sounds petty and I honestly don’t want to go back to court, it was stressful last time and being pregnant I really don’t want stress. But I feel it’s unfair on my son and OH son if they never get gmto enjoy a Christmas together, we’ve ahad to do it on a different day but last year I had my son the first week and my OH had his son the second week so we had to do Christmas the weekend before for his son (17th dec) and my son wondered why he was getting his presents then etc and I just feel terribly that it’s not a proper Christmas for them both.

I get that, but making Christmas how you want it really isn't what Court is for, especially when It's about accommodating step-siblings.

I know it is important to you ( I have steps as well as my own son, so I get to thrash out our Christmas as well as my client's Christmases, and It's exhausting) but seriously, a court is pretty likely to shrug and decline interest on an issue like that. A fair few judges don't really believe it's the court's job to sort Christmas between actual parents, and I see why: when I know the same judges are trying to wrangle families with massive issues of drugs, violence, mental ill health and eye popping deprivation, it is hard not to join them eye-rolling at the squads of people weeping about little Johnny not waking up with them on Christmas morning, and bickering over whether handover should be 10.00am or 11.00am because of some nonsense on one side or another, or both. The courts are full of them from November on, and it is truly grotesque to hear when you know the rest of the list is full of people losing their kids forever, or judges making what may turn out to be literally life or death decisions for kids.

I don't wish to sound unsympathetic, believe me, I've had more than a decade managing my arse of an ex, over exactly this self-absorbed shit ,

I get what you’re saying, but the court didn’t care when my upper class ex was snorting cocaine getting into debt and not doing anything with or for our son - I never stopped him seeing him as it wouldn’t have been right for our son but I have no trust in the court system because they didn’t view his drug habit as a problem - hey what do I know?? So they don’t even try and sort out big problems, they don’t care about the child really in my opinion. That’s why I am wondering what they’ll say to this, but I know it’s not in my sons best interest to not be a family unit, he was very upset to not see his step brother for 2 weeks over Christmas, he couldn’t understand it, and I just don’t want them to never have a Christmas together.

I think its more important for your son to see his df at xmas than his step sibling tbh. how would you feel op if you didn't get to see your ds for 2 xmas's in a row as he had a step sibling on his fathers side.
I would go loopy if my exh wanted our dc for two xmas's in a row because of his partners child!

if i were you i would keep it as simple as possible and every other xmas seems fair on both parents.

Why don't you give up a Christmas to get them back in sync? Surely he'd agree to that.

Yes think I’ll have to do that to get them back in sync seems the best option all round.

Can you not arrange with school for your ds to get changed at school before he leaves and leave the stuff at reception for you to collect.

We have done this in the school I worked in for this reason.