Divorce and Financial Mediation questions

[FrankieDrake]

Grateful for any advice from those who have experience of working with a mediator to help negotiate the financial settlement. (DC at uni, so focus is on finances only as I am told they cannot be taken into account in agreeing the finances, although still dependents. Very frustrating I have to say as I am still forking out for them.)

Anyway, we have both agreed with each other to go to mediation - but seem to be getting conflicting advice as to whether or not we actually have to ( i.e. does the court mandate this as a condition of sealing the financial settlement?). And is a pre-requisite to complete the financial disclosure ( is it form E?).

If we can agree something between us without mediation, is this something we can ask solicitors to draw up and submit to court?

Having done some research, I must admit I expected this to be more cost-effective than the fees we are each paying our respective solicitors - but they are not. I am looking in North London. ( So any recommendations would be very welcome.)

Many thanks for any advice and suggestions.

First, dependent adult children can still be taken into account. The difference is that minor children's welfare has top billing, once they are adult, they are in with everything else. Their other parent should be helping support them.

Second, mediation is never compulsory. If you reach a deal yourselves, you absolutely Don't need mediation. What is compulsory, supposedly, about mediation is that before you make a Court application for financial orders, other than by consent, you must have attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with a mediator. There are get outs, most commonly where there is DV, but if you go to the MIAM saying you don't want mediation, the mediator will just sign it off.

Any agreement, whether reached through mediation, by you at the kitchen table, or through lawyers MUST be prefaced by full financial disclosure. No court can approve an order without adequate financial summaries. This doesn't mean form E if you don't it to, but proper disclosure should be given. If a deal is done on incomplete disclosure, it is worthless snd can be set aside.

So yes, if you reach a deal between yourselves, a solicitor can just draw up the papers and send it off to court. You should get advice before signing a consent order, either reached by you together, or through mediation.

If your lawyer has not explained this then either they are useless, or you aren't getting it.

Many thanks. Yes, I do get it. I am not an idiot. Seems I am paying my solicitor for advice that is perhaps incomplete. And hence, I turn to MumsNet for further insight - not for an implied suggestion that I am stupid.

Fuck a duck, you're a touchy sod.

Bert - your advice helped me so didn’t go to waste. Thank you x

Not often I feel the need to pipe up in defence on here but BertBibby always gives good advice