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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Controlling, abusive ex

2 replies

Starleaf · 18/01/2018 12:33

Am finding life really hard atm. I split from my ex almost 16mths ago. We have a now 3yr old son. I moved out of his house, to live with my parents with my son after he physically assaulted me. He then went on to harass and threaten myself and members of my family for several months, with txt and phone calls, often on my business line at work. The police were involved, he was cautioned and it stopped.
There is a court order in place, he has contact EOWE and Skype twice during the week. From day one he has abused this, talking disparaging of me and members of my family during Skype. He sends a third party to our door for pick up/drop off, being his older children from a previous relationship or his father. They are sometimes rude and abusive to me, while he sits in his car at the end of the drive and calls me scum, in front of our s.
I have suggested he facilitate hand overs, as I do with no third party involved, it can only be good for our s if we co parent responsibly. He refuses, even though our s well being is negatively affected by all this upset.
I don't have the funds to take him back to court for a variation on the order, which is what he tells me to do. He isn't short of money and would have a solicitor. He is self employed, has a 4 bed house, runs two large cars, has several 5* holidays each year and wears designer clothes/Rolex watch.
He paid no CM for several mths, until forced by the CMS, but as he's self employed he pays very little, declaring he earns silly amount.
He was controlling during our relationship, but has become much worse since we parted. I just want to get on with life, but he doesn't allow this. It seems he isn't happy unless he is inflicting unhappiness and hardship on me.
I don't know where to go from here, but know I can't carry on like this for much longer.

OP posts:
Jixy8731 · 19/01/2018 21:55

I think sadly you really do need to go back to court with representation, legal aid?

WilliamBlakes · 20/01/2018 06:29

Feeling sad for you. But you may only stop your ex by hiring a lawyer and going back to the court. Instead of taking risks, the better job is to get the valuable and professional services of a lawyer. Try to get the additional info about an affordable lawyer by surfing the internet. Just think about your son and about his secure future. Be strong!

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