Background:
Married for 20 years, together for 24.
Two children, one uni and one at independent VIth form (I pay fees although my preference for DC2 was state VIth form college)
DH had affair for two years, I asked him to leave when I found out but have not yet started divorce proceedings.
I have good job with decent salary, DH has been unemployed since his work fired him for affair with employee. He is pensionable age, I am not.
I have accommodation with my job so do not live in the family home (nor do DC).
DH is behaving irrationally and oddly (since affair came to light) and DC are barely speaking to him, and via text only. I suspect early signs of dementia or long-term alcoholism taking its toll.
We have a house that is SSTC. I agreed to the sale via email with Estate Agent. I have had no contact from EA since sending in my proof of ID but know the house is sold from DC1 (and Rightmove...). The house is jointly owned, joint mortgage, both names on deeds. DH currently living in house.
My questions:
How has house sold without any correspondence with EA? Was my consent to sell consent to correspond only with DH?
When do I make divorce application? Pre-sale? Post-sale? Pre-funds getting to solicitor (he has not told me solicitor details)? We have not agreed a financial settlement but are doing it without solicitors, I hope.
Key question: What do I need to do to ensure no funds from the house sale are released until a financial agreement has taken place? I’m terrified he’s going to bank the lot and I will be left with nothing. How can I ensure this doesn’t happen?
Is there a way I can ensure I don’t have to give him half my pension (I will work 20+ years longer than him) because the marriage breakdown is entirely (genuinely) down to him (I am still bemused...)?
TIA for any advice. I don’t want to drip feed, but please feel free to ask questions that might help answer my questions! 🙄