Meeting ex-H's new girlfriend

[Coffeelips]

I know my ex-H will soon suggest that it is time that the DC met his new girlfriend. My question is: should I meet her too? He's only been with her about 6 months but I know it's on the cards. She doesn't live nearby and I don't think the DC will spend too much time with her but I think he wants to introduce her to get it out in the open.

He started seeing her within weeks of us splitting up and because we had to live together for a few months he only moved out 3 months ago.
My problem is I'm still coming to terms with the break-up and am finding it hard to cope with him moving on so soon (even though the split was mutually decided) and I'm not sure I am ready to meet her yet... but should I do so for the sake of DC as they will meet her? Or should I put it off for a few months?

Is it up to you? She might not actually want to meet you.

Just go with the flow. Start looking forward, make plans of your own

Thanks Quite. You're right - she might not want to in which case no problem. It's all new to me so not sure if it's normal to meet the new partner if your DC will be spending time with them. I suppose it will happen eventually anyway.
I definitely need to stop over-thinking it and as you say getting on with my own life is the best thing I can do.

When I got with my now DH I met his daughter after about 6 months. Nothing full on, first time I met them at the park for an hour. Second time I popped to his for a cuppa and then left. After about 6 months of 'visiting' I would stay over one night a week when she was there (she was there 4/5 nights a week so we took it slowly).
However, I didn't meet his ex-gf until maybe 12/18 months after this. She initiated the first meeting and I was happy with that, but I wouldn't have wanted to meet her right at the start.

How old are DC and how much child caring will she do?

Thanks cottage - that's helpful. DC are 9 and 6 and not sure yet how much time she will spend with them, and like you say it will probably build up over time. Ex-H hasn't actually spoken to me about it yet I am just pre-empting it and I find it helpful to be prepared in advance.

I was happy to meet exh's new girlfriend. Not to check her suitability to be in my children's life, but because a) he is a good person and deserves to have someone nice in his life (she seems lovely) and most importantly b) it sends a message to the kids that mum and dad might not be married any more but they want good things for each other, like you do with close friends. I don't want them having to feel awkward about the people that their parents individually love (and that play a big part in their lives)

But it did hurt a bit because as much as our marriage ended mutually, I loved him for a very long time. However it was one of those occasions where I died a little bit on the inside but did the right thing and was lovely to her (as she was to me). Makes handover of kids occasions really pleasant and there is no awkwardness at all when we see each other/them out and about which is exactly what I wanted for the children.

It might be a long way off yet if the situation hasn't yet been raised- don't use your mental energy on it yet. You might be building it up in your mind and worrying over something that might not happen for ages yet. Cross that bridge if you come to it.