Separation. Keeping family home ??

[Djc82]

Hi new to this looking for advice / help
Separated from H end of August as marriage was not working anymore H moved out October , we have 2 children and a mortgaged house in joint names he is now pushing for the home to be sold which I do not want to do I know I am entitled to stay here until the youngest is 18 but he is threatening to move back in if I do not sell , he is renting somewhere so all set up I cannot afford to buy him out and if I sell and try and rent somewhere it will probably be nearly double the mortgage payments that I am making at the moment I have taken on all the household payments on my own H is not paying for anything anymore , has anyone been in this situation??

No, you are not entitled to stay there until the children leave, that is a concession you have to fight for at court and that would only be approved if you and your ex have an asset por big enough to house the 2 of You separately.

I would say however that waiting to sell the house until the children are 16/18 May be a good or bad thing. If your children are teens, staying in the house will allow you to reduce upset and become more financially independent.

However, if by the time your children reach this age you are over a certain age when it is impossible to get an affordable mortgage, it may be better to move to a more basic place and start climbing the property leader again.

On my last paragraph, it should read “it may be better to sale and move now to a more...”

I fought years in court for this, costed thousands of pounds and I didn’t get it. Having said that, years down the line I am very grateful that I didn’t.

Honestly? Sell the house ASAP. A fresh start is better than still being tied to exh for years to come.

You might be granted an order which means you can stay in the house until youngest finishes school, but you are not entitled to it.

You need to see a solicitor for proper advice based on your exact, individual circumstances. Even though it would mean downsizing, it may well be better to reach an all encompassing settlement now rather than stay financially linked for years to come.

Thank you all
Such a hard decision what to do for the best , I just want what’s gonna be best for the kids , they are 8 &11
Just want an end to the whole situation and to move on without the worry and stress 😔

Op, something that really helped me was to talk to a solicitor as depending on how much you and him are earning and who ends with the lions share of the responsibility of taking care of the children, a 50/50 split of the assets may not apply. The court will try to leave you both in an equal footing so, if you are the “poorer” person in the relationship, you may get a bigger percentage of the assets.

If you get a bigger percentage, then buying him out may be easier. I used an independent financial advisor who was able to find me a new mortgage that was affordable enough and that considered the tax credits I was receiving at that time.
I managed to buy him out but DS and I had to reduce expenses massively for a few years in order to afford the payment. Some years down the line things are much better, the sacrifice was really worth it

How old are you op? That’s the key question when it comes to find an affordable mortgage.

35

Ok... let’s say that by the time your younger leaves compulsory education you will be 43-45 years old, which may allow you to repay a mortgage for 20-22 years. So chances are that things will not be that bad and you manage to be ok depending on how much you would need to borrow.

Now, if selling the house now would give you enough money to use as a deposit for another house, albeit something more modest. You may be much better off selling now.

One of the things that bugged me about staying in the house is that you become responsible for all the expenses to keep it and at the end of the period your ex still get the same agreed percentage even if you have done changes to it that have increased the value of the house (pretty much like now, you are paying and reducing the mortgage but he would have the same claim even if he is not helping with those expenses for years.

I am currently going through a divorce and have agreed finances. I am going to keep the house and he'll keep his pension. I do have to give him some money so he can have a deposit.

I don't want to move. The boys have gone through enough and loosing their home would be devastating for them - especially my eldest as he is autistic.

But that is my situation and other's move quite happily.

But it is fair that he gets the percentage of the final value as his money is tied up in house so he cannot use it too make more money or house himself and instead of being used for him to buy a house and for that to go up in value.

But also think he gets less if the house is worth less.

So short story
Marriage ended August H moved out October, we have joint mortgage on home which H wants sold but I financially can not afford to sell as will not be able to afford renting etc and I also work from my home
I have filed for divorce which has been sent to the court H has refused mediation now so what happens next ( I do have a solicitor) does anyone know what this is going to cost ?? Can I get any help with costs
Any advice would be good or if anyone’s been through this
We have 2 children 8&11
Thanks

Who has told you you can stay in the house until the children are 18? That is not true.