Financially separate but living together?

[basketbreath]

I'm ready to leave but am not financially independent. DH controls the money. We have a joint mortgage which he pays, I'm a SAHM. My oldest has autism so I'm the carer when she's not at school. (Get carers allowance and DLA) not entitled to tax credits and have to repay child benefits because of DH earnings. It's impossible to find a job that is only school hours. I have no family or friends to help, DH works away a lot. ideally I'd like to move away with my girls but I have absolutely nothing. Can I claim benefits whilst still living with DH? I practically live in the box room to keep away from him. Unless I ask him I have no money. How can I move on with nothing.

You really need to see a solicitor for proper advice. It's beyond the scope of this site to advise about this.

I know I need to see a solicitor but I need to know what I can realistically expect.

I'm in practically the same situation. Teenager with autism, claiming DLA and carer's allowance but only able to work in school hours! I'm having to stay put for another year or so as have just found a fantastic school placement after years of battling with mainstream schools and LA. This is the first placement dd's been OK in for years so just want to give her a bit more time there. Live in an expensive city so can't afford to run two households and will need to move to a cheaper area where we could be near family.

Going to see solicitor about the situation so I know what the options are when I finally make a move. Really think you should do the same. At least you have a box room! We have no spare room and I don't know how I will keep going. There's always the sofa!

Just wanted to say I completely understand. The last thing DD needs is yet more change but an unhappy and downtrodden mother isn't so good for her either. Hope you can sort things out

Yes you can claim tax credits, etc if you are seperated but live under the same roof. You have to do literally nothing for each other or with each other but you can.

When I was younger my parents divorced and her solicitor told her to change the locks and kick him out and he would still have to contribute to the house hold.
My dad and mum were both faithful, the love just wasn’t there any more on both sides.
I know this as my parents spoke to me about it when I was older. There was no bitching.

Things might have changed as this was 22 years ago but it’s something that might help. Your husband will also have to pay towards your child.