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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

On Housing Benefit. Can baby's dad (ex) come to see son every evening?

9 replies

NotGoingToPlan · 03/01/2018 12:37

Hello, (not sure what thread to post this on)
I split with my baby's father and had been living in a private rented property for some time with him visiting to see his son a couple of evenings a week and every other weekend. I've just moved into a social housing property which is in the same area as ex, so he would be able to see his son a lot more frequently and has said he would like to come every evening on is way back from work to see DS and give him his tea/ bath time and say good night. While I have no issue with this as I want to do what's best for DS and think it's good he has a father who wants to be involved in his life I have recently been told by someone at work that he might not be allowed to come round because I'm receiving benefits and they will say we are a couple?? Surely this is not correct as we are not a couple, I live alone with my son and he lives alone in a flat? So just wanted some advice and info on whether this is correct? Just to add, DS is 1 year old so when his dad visits him he does so at mine as it's easier to fit around DSs feeding times and nap times and with all the baby stuff being here. When he gets older I imagine we will arrange something with DS perhaps staying with his dad every other weekend and maybe going out for tea during the week so there will be less of ex around my house. Thanks in advance for reading .

OP posts:
TrojansAreSmegheads · 03/01/2018 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lostmyemailaddress · 03/01/2018 12:40

He'll be able to visit but not stay over and sleep. Having someone coming to the house but not sleeping won't affect your housing benefit.

NotGoingToPlan · 03/01/2018 12:48

That should be alright then I hope. He wouldn't sleep here as he has no reason to, he just wants to see his son as much as he can which I think is good and I don't think either he or his son should be denied that just because our relationship broke down.
I am just a bit of a worrier so when I hear things like I could get in trouble I tend to panic a bit. Have always hated getting in trouble, right from school days. Grin

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 03/01/2018 12:54

If they (benefits) think you are in a relationship with him they may try and stop your benefit. But if you're not and your OP is correct then you don't have anything to worry about.

NotGoingToPlan · 03/01/2018 12:57

This is what I was confused about as in don't know how they would think we are in a relationship just from him coming in the evenings to see his son? Once DS is in bed he goes home.

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 03/01/2018 13:24

Nosy neighbours? Social media, anything linking him to your address physically like bills or credit checks.

My tax credits were stopped once because my dozy ex h used my address for a mobile phone contract, the man in the shop actually told him to do that as he hadn't been at his address long enough to get the credit.

The woman who I spoke to to sort it out (think gov use a private company) was nice and told me I had to send proof he didn't live there. It was sorted but a pain in arse, and still annoys me that I was forced to prove a negative.

NotGoingToPlan · 03/01/2018 13:43

Oh wow, never thought about that. Social media is not an issue as I am not very active on there any way, and there's nothing linking him to me anyway as we only message regarding DS and occasionally the odd question here and there. But nosy neighbours is something I've not thought about that I suppose would be a possibility. He has (or shouldnt have!) anything usijg my address and I'd be pretty angry if he had been using my address for things! But as mentioned above, I can prove he has his own address so if anything ever was questioned I know I've done nothing wrong but like you say, just a pain in the bum really.

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 03/01/2018 14:40

I'm sure it'll be fine. It's good that you and ex are amicable.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 03/01/2018 14:43

It will be fine, myself and DH were separated for over 8 years and only recently moved back in together. During that time he stayed here whenever he was working in the area but was paying rent and council tax plus electricity etc elsewhere....over 100 miles away. So he occasionally stayed over and slept on the sofa .

The moment he moved back in here I declared him as here.

No issues ever with housing benefit while I had to claim it....if he had been here and contributing to bills it would have been different.

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