Opinions please.... thank you

[samesh1tdifferentday]

My dh and I have reached decree nisi and during this divorce communication has broken down completely unfortunately. My second daughter started high school this year during our separation and even before we separated she decided that she didn't want to attend this particular school. The school we sent her to is one of the top schools for performance in terms of exam results and also offers many opportunities that the other school doesn't from trips to languages etc. My eldest daughter is doing really well there.my second daughter is getting into a daily struggle as her father keeps telling her she can move which I don't think is in her best interest long term. She misses her old friendship group which is understandable however she still sees them every few weeks socially and meets up with them so they are still around.
I want to do what's best for my daughter. It as I haw 4 dcs have other things to consider like logistics, they operate a sibling basis and I want my younger ones to follow there. I work this side of the city nearest the school so it means I can get out of town traffic and promptly to work on time. I do care that she misses her friends but I want to demonstrate the difference between work and play ie that when work is done then you can socialise. The school she favours is rated as "good" by OFSTED and the one she attends is rated "excellent " surely I should embrace the opportunity we have with the school seeing as state places into there are VERY limited they only take 100 state places a year and I got in and my neighbour didn't SIMPLY as I had a sibling there. Sorry it's long but am considering prohibited steps order if need be. Exh isn't helping by keep discussing it with her getting her hopes up. I think if we were united then she would settle there anyway

I don't really think this has anything to do with your divorce, but everything to do with your relationship with your daughter. Your DD is more likely to do well at a school that she enjoys and wants to attend. It seems particularly unfair that she's being sent to a school that she didn't choose so that her siblings can ultimately get places.

I agree with nutty this is nothing to do with divorce. I actually feel quite sorry for your dd, her schooling is clearly based around what YOU want and what's best for YOU, no consideration is being shown towards how your dd feels or what she wants.

My mum insisted I go to a particular VI form.

I occasionally attended, never did homework, occasionally went to a lesson, developed long term depression left with 2 crap grade A Levels and no self esteem.

You can lead a horse to water.

I never forgave her.

Do you always totally dismiss her feelings? Will you do that for the rest of your life?

I know exactly what you are saying about that and no I don't ever dismiss her feelings that's why I'm asking but as a lone parent I also have to think about getting to work, after school facilities etc that will enable me to do this I have bills to pay. As a child we didn't even have the luxury of choice of schools my first daughter didn't want to go there either but has settled into year 3 really well and has made lots of friends. Sometimes it's about necessity if she went to her choice of school I would struggle with support for all of us as a family as the other school is 4 miles in the opposite direction to my other 3dcs it's a tough decision and I want her to be happy but I do feel maybe give it another term and see. There is a far bigger picture than MY needs I have 3 other dc's and work to consider.