Hi, so this is the first time I’ve posted on anything like this, but I’ve no one else to talk to who may have been in the same boat and am feeling so down & kind of scared about what’s coming. Please be gentle with me!! Basically i am in the process of separating from H. Together 22+ years & 3 teen kids. I’ve initiated the break because he wouldn’t (admitted he left it til I did) and I just couldn’t keep pretending or carry him anymore emotionally/physically to the point I had a breakdown.
We are still living together at the moment due to money issues which is an awful kind of limbo to be in & I really want to get things sorted ASAP but I’m a bit scared of how. My biggest concern, probably unsurprisingly, is how I’m going to manage financially. I’m currently on a 16hr contract although can often get a few hours a week overtime. We were claiming tax credits to top us up as a couple and I thought I would be ok until I could find full time etc as long as I was doing the min 16 hrs a week, but when I rang tax cr to update on the situ (they were really kind btw), they cancelled the joint claim, went all through details to set up as single & then Said couldn’t help me as universal credit had been rolled out in my area a few weeks earlier
:( so now I have to go for an interview at job centre, agree “commitments” to look for more hours/better wage etc & prove I’m looking, agree to go to any interviews/positions etc that they come up with even if I don’t think they’re suitable & if I don’t adhere to any of what they say, they will ‘sanction’ me?!? The thought of it all is seriously stressing me out more :( I’ve no one to take with me for support, eldest will be back at Uni & don’t want to get younger 2 involved, they have enough to worry about. I’ve already applied to loads of jobs but I’m lacking qualifications & masses of experience as have been home with kids for years. I’m basically a sales asst, so could just get full time retail but at the mo everything is Xmas temps obviously & also my shifts are generally 4/6hrs each day in the mid of the day, so even if I could get an interview/second job, it would have to be very early morns or evenings, which is all doable I know, but my youngest has severe anxieties that have been made worse because of the situation & the last thing I want to do is keep leaving her at home on her own. H works nights so is either out or in bed and not exactly particularly attentive when not at work, so not much help and only other person is my elderly Dad bless him, who tends to need us looking after him now more than him looking after us if that makes sense! Sorry. Am rambling I know, but there’s so much to consider & I’m genuinely sad and peed off
at having to be in the situation in the first place! I honestly thought if I tried hard enough I could keep the marriage going but my best obviously wasn’t good enough :(
Anyway, I have to stop feeling sorry for myself, be proactive so I can get out of the rut I’m in but just unsure of where to start. Has anyone any experience of the universal credit interview situation etc please? Thank you so much in advance & take care x