When to tell DD re separation

[andanothernamechange]

So Christmas is over and H and I need to tell DD age 13 that we are separating.

Do we tell her now , or after New Years Eve, before she goes back to school on 8th Jan or wait until she is back at school?

There will be no immediate change to logistics as H and I will stay in the same house etc to begin with.

I'd tell her now. She probably knows something is wrong.

Tell her,she will probably already know things are wrong and if the logistics don't change she will definitely need to know as you will both find it difficult living in the same house.

I would tell her ASAP especially if you are still living together - my youngest is 13 next week and we told her approx 4 weeks after we had agreed re separation, but she already guessed something was up and it’s been awful trying to stay living together whilst separated so couldn’t have kept it hidden for long. (I started a thread a few days ago “separating after 22 years...) It was actually a kind of relief to say it all out in the open at last as can now sleep separately etc and stop forcing a false ‘happy families’ if that makes sense! X

So we told DD a few days ago and it's been ok. I think it has it sunk in yet and nothing much logistically has changed yet.

I'm sure there will be a reaction at some point. But thank you for all the advice, it was right to tell her.

I would tell her when you feel ready. Children will have a range of emotions when told and you need to feel strong enough to absorb that. The older the child generally the more astute they will be to what has been happening. I would keep the details clear and simple to start with - and as impassioned as possible. Then they usually ask more as they mature