Why couples split after a long relationship

[UterusHaver]

A friend recently posted this on their fb and I was expecting a load of cheese but I thought it was oddly accurate
www.quora.com/Why-do-couples-that-have-been-happily-married-a-long-time-over-20-years-raised-a-family-and-so-on-divorce

I'm 40 something and definitely in the 'have already decided its over' category, but at the moment H is trying to make an effort with little effect. And feeling secure enough to continue alone. I'm still in limbo at the moment but I know I'll get there

Clicky link
www.quora.com/Why-do-couples-that-have-been-happily-married-a-long-time-over-20-years-raised-a-family-and-so-on-divorce

Link doesn’t work?

I don't know why links never work in the OP, they just never do. PITA

I know Christmas often triggers these resentments etc and I can see why. I'm working today and worked yesterday, because H is working the other days so I had no other option because of childcare.
I've bought and wrapped everything for everyone except me.He even gave me a list of people 'we' needed to buy for
The tablet I bought him last Christmas now has a history full of porn
I'm just so fed up

How much of his behaviour do you enable?
If he gives you a list of people to purchase presents for what do you do? Do you give him the list back and tell him to purchase?

Only he is responsible for his behaviour

It's the entitlement more than the concrete stuff. Expecting WIFE to mean Washing Ironing Fucking Etc. I'm not anyone's PA

So did he purchase and wrap the presents on the list he gave you?

He is indeed responsible for his behaviour and you in turn are responsible for how you react to it

Somehow we blank out the good memories and only recall the bad bits — pain felt is always worse than pain inflicted.
Self justification works to minimise the bad feelings of doers of harm and to maximise any righteous feelings we might have as victims.
I’m quoting from the book ‘Mistakes were made it not by me’ which explains how we justify wrongdoings.

Well yes your dh is responsible for his behaviour and you are responsible for yours.

So if your dh hands you a list, you hand it back. Etc.

I’m not suggesting that you are at fault - just that you can take the position that he can get lost and don’t accept the treatment.