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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Child Maintenance after a clean break divorce

12 replies

ems68 · 22/12/2017 00:39

i'm really hoping someone can help me. I divorced my ex 6 years ago after 12 years of bullying and abuse. We have two children. Our divorce was massively complicated but in brief... At the time I divorced him and because of the years of abuse, I wanted to get out as quickly as possible. i ran away from home with nothing more that cloths in a suitcase for me and the children. I was so broken and frightened I ended up agreeing to a clean break divorce to get rid of him as quickly as possible - I agreed to no spousal maintenance and a paltry child maintenance of £50 per week per child. We have a court order for the children (residency with me) and finances, no spousal and the agreed child maintenance. My ex gives noother monetary support beyond what is written in the court order. At the time of divorce he had just been fired from his job and he had drained all our bank accounts. so there was very little to ask for and I have ended up supporting the children. I think he deliberately put himself in this position to make it impossible for me to ask for any financial support.
But almost as soon as the decree absolut was signed he then took a job paying over £100k per year. I believe he is on circa £130k now. I understand that with a clean break divorce i cannot ask for spousal maintenance but is it possible to make a claim for an increase in child support. I thought the guidelines were 17% of gross salary for the first child. I would love to know if anyone has any experience of this. Every divorce settlement seems to be different. I am the only person I know of my networks who never got a spousal maintenance. I feel quite aggrieved even now that while he drives around in his brand new range rover sport I am literally busting to make ends meet every month to keep a roof over the kids heads. I would just like to know if I can re-apply to the courts for an increase in child support based on his earnings now. Or is the clean break court order absolutely final on that score? Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 22/12/2017 01:00

From my understanding a clean break (of which I have myself) has nothing to do with child maintenance. You don’t get a clean break from your responsibility to your child(ren).

MrsBertBibby · 22/12/2017 05:30

The order is more than 12 months old?

In that case apply to CMS for an assessment. Child Maintenance orders can only be made by consent and (since 3.03.2003) only exclude CSA/CMS jurisdiction for 1 year.

Your solicitor should have explained this.

Call them today, pay the £20 fee, the increase only takes effect from when you claim.

Wishingandwaiting · 22/12/2017 06:47

Clean break has absolutely NOTHING to do with child maintenance.

Proceed aggressively!

Onlymeeeeee · 23/12/2017 05:51

Proceed assertively knowing that you are right to demand he supports his children. He will call it aggressive.
My stbExH called me aggressive when I laughed at his assertion that as he only looks after his children on a Wednesday, he only has to pay 1/5 of their costs (they live off fresh air at the weekend apparently)

Wishingandwaiting · 23/12/2017 07:27

I have no issue with an ex saying that I’m proceeding aggressively! In fact, I think it would rather satisfy me.

Onlymeeeeee · 23/12/2017 18:42

Oh no you're right but it still gives me a jolt of fear when he says I'm being aggressive that his next claim is that he was only acting in self defence. He said that when he pushed me across the kitchen despite me pushing him back afterwards, that he pushed me in self defence?

PawsyMcPawFace · 30/12/2017 12:00

OnlyMe - my STBXH has accused me of all sorts of aggressiveness because I have had the temerity to proceed with the divorce through solicitors. Its projection, pure and simple. I still have trouble believing this though. And yes, it gives me a jolt of fear that he says this.

And he was the only aggressive one, through his actions and words and threats of suicide and using the kids. Was a real eye opener. Couldn't get his own way so had the biggest paddy of his life. I'm sure there is still more to come.

ems68 · 28/04/2018 01:07

I just wanted to thank everyone on here that responded because you gave me the confidence to make a claim to the CMS and this week I have learned that I have been awarded three times what my ex has currently been paying me. This is going to help so much. It has of course kicked off a whole heap of other S* with him blackmailing and threatening me. This story will rumble on for a while longer!

OP posts:
Pleasebeafleabite · 28/04/2018 07:18

That’s good news OP will hopefully give some encouragement to others in a similar position

Hopefully he’ll get over it soon the twat

MrsBertBibby · 28/04/2018 08:45

Hurrah!

Onlymeeeeee · 28/04/2018 18:23

Great news on the money, not so much on the blackmail. Google "paladin" they're a charity who specialises in anti stalking /coercive control, may be able to help you

lifebegins50 · 29/04/2018 09:24

Fantastic, he should count himself lucky that he had years at the lower level.

My solicitor said men often give up jobs to ensure they don't pay, despicable behaviour and a sign of their character.

Don't feel guilty, CMS is just a basic rate so not even overly generous.

How was the experience with CMS?

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