Hubby left me for someone else 17 months ago. I am main carer for our 9 year old. He used to do school runs so I had to move her to my school as I couldn't afford childcare every day. For first year he picked her up from school twice a week & took her to his for tea, plus had her to stay every other Saturday (after a few months because it was a while before I allowed her to meet the gf). Last September he decided to just pick her up from school one night a week (reason he gave was because he didnt want me to dictate when he saw his child!) Occasionally I have had to ask him to help with childcare....I don't ask often & not sure why I do cos he doesn't agree. He works one night a week, his gf doesn't work, he has 2 parents & his sister who can help him with childcare. I work full time & my parents are elderly. He doesn't need help with childcare often as he doesn't have our daughter as much as me. ....although I have let him bring her back early so he can go to the match etc. If I ask for help I get told he's not my babysitter so I can go to work, that I'm the main carer so I should cope, and that these requests for help are very one sided. He then usually says if I can't cope she can live with him. (She doesn't want to...she misses him but doesn't want to live there. I don't want her to either.)
I always wish I'd never asked him....& don't know why I ever do.
Guess I'm quite envious of separated parents who actually manage to put their children first & communicate. I really wish we could do that & hate the fact he can still upset me.