How much does court cost?

[TheVirgin]

I’m feeling fragile at the minute. Ex and I separated earlier this year after I discovered proof of adultery. We got decree nisi in April. I refused mediation for many reasons. Since then it has just been ridiculous offers from him via his solicitor and now his barrister (he has changed his representation). What he is suggesting is either going to make me and our young children homeless or make me homeless in a couple of years. He wants to remortgage to pay off all the debt he incurred on his name since we separated but leave me to pay the mortgage so effectively I would pay off his debt. Or else he will declare bankruptcy now and make us homeless now. He was working for a very high salary but since I filed for divorce he quit his job and took one paying 20% of what he was previously earning. I wasn’t working while we were married because I was effectively supporting his career which had a lot of travel (with no notice of course) so I am now trying to start a small business working from home. Yet he has the hump because he bought them some cheap trainers. I am at my wits end. I reversed into my neighbors car this morning and it broke me. I don’t have the money for even a basic life, I am ridiculously stressed. I was sobbing on my friends shoulder this morning outside the school gates and she said I need to get this over with. I feel like the only way to get this over with now is to go to court. I have another friend who has offered to be my McKenzie friend if I have to represent myself as she has been through the process with her own ExH. I’m just bricking it at the thought of how to pay for it all. Please can anyone advice on what a ballpark figure would be and what I can expect. Thanks.

Could you divide the assets 50/50? Would that work for you? Can you tell us a bit more about finances and children?

What has he offered? What was your reason for declining mediation?

I feel your pain. My ex quit his high paying job after separation and is now unemployed and proud of it. It takes a certain type of person to do this and I think you will need to get lawyers involved to get anywhere. They can negotiate for you and will aim to keep it out of court. I would budget 20k at least.

If you are unrepresented, you will only pay the court fee of £255 to issue your form A.

If you instruct a solicitor, then it is impossible to say as it depends what happens.

If he is threatening bankruptcy, however, I think you need to get issued.

Probably identifying but I’ll try to answer your questions. I did instruct a solicitor from the outset so this has been our main form of communication in order to resolve financial matters. I refused mediation because he is a bully and a very good liar. He thinks he can take control of every situation and lies repeatedly as if it is a fact. He still denies adultery ever took place even though the court upheld it and even though I have solid evidence of several affairs and prostitutes. I knew he would back me into a corner with mediation until he got what he wanted even if it was unfair to me and with the offers he is currently making I can see that I am right. Where we live mediation isn’t much cheaper than solicitors so I was hoping we could come to an agreement quickly and get the consent order sent to court quickly.

There are two houses, one in negative equity of £50k (by his estimation which has greatly inflated the figure) and the other with about £200k worth of equity. His pension is also worth approx £400k. He has racked up credit card debts and has taken an interest free loan from family since we separated. He claims he is almost £100k in debt. He wants to remortgage the house with equity to pay off his debt, he will contribute £3600 in total to the mortgage and give me £6000 in spousal maintenance over 2 years at which point I will become responsible for the mortgage and he stops paying SM and then I basically spend the next two decades paying off his debt as my mortgage. And he gets to keep his entire pension. This is his most recent offer, previous offers were even worse. Does this even seem remotely fair? He has his career built up and can work for a lot more than he is currently making. He left a job paying >£200k and now makes less than my friend who is a nurse. He can get jobs closer to the children but chose to accept one over 200 miles away.

On a more positive note with respect to the accident this morning, I do have no claims bonus cover so I don’t lose that and my neighbor was really lovely about the whole thing so that has been the bright spot of an otherwise awful day.

It's really hard to say if it sounds fair, although it sounds pretty bonkers. What does your solicitor say?

S/he will give you a costs estimate. Should have done so at the outset.

But quite simply, he is playing you. I would stop wasting money and issue. Nothing else will guarantee you a result, and even a bad result will at least give you finality.