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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Child contact

12 replies

Walkingdead11 · 20/10/2017 11:40

My ex is currently not allowed physical contact with our daughter, a court ordered section 7 report is currently being done. He is allowed to phone her 2 days a week and send her a letter once a fortnight. Her first letter has arrived and it is addressed with only my ex's surname....my dd has a double barralled surname. Now I see this as a pathetic passive aggressive attempt to have a go at me by eliminating my part of her name (my ex is a narc). Do I address this through my solicitor or just ignore?

OP posts:
JediStoleMyBike · 20/10/2017 12:11

Personally I would ignore. It'll probably annoy him more if you don't give him the satisfaction of a response.

abbsisspartacus · 20/10/2017 12:12

Ignore it

XJerseyGirlX · 20/10/2017 12:14

Of course you ignore it. You cant argue with stupid so don't wind yourself up trying to. You know why he did it

thecakefairy · 20/10/2017 12:16

Yes, definitely ignore.
He would love it if he knew it had wound you up.

Original poster
Walkingdead11 · 20/10/2017 12:25

That was my initial reaction too but it still irks! But this is a man who has also said my the dominant genes in her body come from him and that her other genes (mine) are weak and deficient. He's obviously trying to take back control because currently I have it and narcs hate losing control.

OP posts:
DancingLedge · 20/10/2017 12:28

If you ignore him, you retain control.
If you let his actions control your reaction, you're giving him control.

NightOfTheDeadXmasFairy · 20/10/2017 12:34

You take control by ignoring him. He clearly wants a reaction, don’t let him get one.

Original poster
Walkingdead11 · 20/10/2017 18:39

Yes you're right, I'll ignore.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 21/10/2017 09:24

I would wait and see. And mention to CAFCASS. Especially if it continues. It is indeed petty and stupid, but names are pretty important to a child's sense of who they are, and messing with that shows a failure to prioritise child over hurty feelings.

Original poster
Walkingdead11 · 21/10/2017 10:23

MrsBertBibby

That's a good point, I will mention it to the Cafcass officer.

OP posts:
Original poster
Walkingdead11 · 22/10/2017 09:26

He's supposed to phone at 10.00am today but he decided to phone at 7.55am....3 times. I was asleep and didn't answer. I am now considering not allowing phone contact today, he's breaking rules again and causing me psychological hardship, it's all part of his game, so tired if it.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 22/10/2017 09:30

If he calls at the right time, answer.

Otherwise, ignore, and record with CAFCASS and solicitor.

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