Thank you for giving me the space to let rip.
Married 20 years
Known each other 23 years.
4 kids.
Both v busy professional jobs with long/antisocial hours.
H is moving out next week.
I found out about a 4 year (4 fucking years!) on/off affair over 2 years ago.
Felt punched in the gut, lost 3 stones (they are still off, so something good came of it 
) and we decided to have couple counselling.
We did - the best part of a year, every week.
2 weeks ago he states he has found somebody who 'means more' (different OW). I have no idea - there could be more.
He is on a 'quest for happiness'.
That is it for me.
He broke us 6+ years ago even if I only found out 2+ years ago.
I can never trust him to be my friend, to have my back, to by on my side unconditionally ever again.
I am gutted.
I am relieved.
I am fucking angry.
I am happy that I can be more self-determined again once the dust has settled.
I am livid on behalf of the children!!
I think he is making a huge mistake and has not thought this through.
He is citing lack of sex and affection - which is true.
It's kinda hard for a vagina to not shrivel up and clench when there's hardly any conversation, no connection, no shared interests - we lived like polite housemate while I was waiting for 10 years for him to become available to me again.
I know I am going to be fine, I am v lucky to be financially ok and to have supportive family + a secure job.
But, OMG.
