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Maintenance reduction when children become adults

36 replies

Mrskeats · 12/10/2017 19:29

Just checking out what other people have experienced in this situation
When your children turned 18 or went to uni etc did your ex immediately reduce CM or not?
I have a friend who thinks her ex is being unreasonable to do this even though their agreement states this would happen. She is also moaning about loss of tax credits and child ben for the oldest.
I think well you knew this was coming so downsize/get more hours at work etc
interested in what others think?

OP posts:
Margomyhero · 14/10/2017 14:11

The friend is not entitled to money still paid to her.

While the child is away at uni- the household bills - utilities, and food etc will be lower. I know that students get long holidays from Uni but it isn't obligatory to keep 'their' bedroom for them until they reach the age of 40 or whatever and decide to be independent from their parents. Also it may be that after a year or so - the student may decide to stay in the their university town all year round. Especially if they get a part time job there and can work the holiday periods too.

My DS is in his second year at Uni. Child maintenance ceased in the August of finishing A levels. As, of course, did Child Benefit. I give DS some money towards his food, travel etc, as does his DF. DS took the minimum loan which just pays his rent.

I am definitely financially down - no income from supporting my DC, with extra payments out. But that is just how it is. We knew this day was coming and am proud to help him grow up and flee the nest.

Me and DH (not DS's father) are planning to move house soon. We will possibly end up with a smaller house. There may not be a designated bedroom for each of the DC. They would still be offered a bed somewhere of course.

OP's friend needs to get real and become a bit more self supporting.

Mrskeats · 14/10/2017 15:19

She has a 5 bedroomed house and 2 kids

OP posts:
confusedlittleone · 14/10/2017 17:23

Last time I checked children still need feeding and use power ect in the holidays so I don't think it's completely unreasonable to still expect help

WitchesHatRim · 14/10/2017 17:31

Last time I checked children still need feeding and use power ect in the holidays so I don't think it's completely unreasonable to still expect help

Which the DC can provide now they are getting the money instead.

Mrskeats · 14/10/2017 17:53

Just for clarity her ex was paying 45 per cent of his salary till this month

OP posts:
7Seas · 14/10/2017 21:54

If they are over 18 they are adults. Not children who need feeding.

ujerneyson · 14/10/2017 22:02

mycats I don't agree with you, we absolutely expect to support our children until the end of a first degree. My parents did for me and it would be unthinkable for me not to consider my children my financial responsibility until that point. If one can't afford to that's one thing but otherwise then absolutely. I can't comment on divorce but I think I would still expect a proportion of the original until the end of uni if the ex could afford it.

Mrskeats · 14/10/2017 22:53

The point is not whether students should be supported
The point is my friend wants the maintenance to her to continue even though the eldest is being supported at uni by his dad

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 15/10/2017 08:46

OP - Your friend is being greedy.

Mrskeats · 15/10/2017 11:49

I agree persian
I think that she doesn't really want to downsize although she agreed to that and is having all the equity to move on.
She was surprised when I said that my ex h had stopped maintenance at 18 and directly supported the children at uni.
She just views her ex as someone whose job it is to maintain her for ever. It really gets in my nerves.

OP posts:
Mrskeats · 15/10/2017 11:50


OP posts:
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