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What I am entitled to if/when I move out

18 replies

SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 14:06

My stbxh and I have been married for four years. We have a three year old daughter. After maternity leave I returned to work part time. I still work part time now but due to our roles and responsibilities I earn a similar about to stbxh who works full time. Because I work part time I do more childcare e.g. I finish work in time for school pick up.
We own a house where we have lived for nearly 2 years. We put down a large deposit, which was largely gifted from his brother. We would both like to stay in the house, but he is very adamant that he is not leaving the house. Although I would like to stay in the house if the chance should arise, I am willing to be the one to move out as and when the time and circumstances are right for my daughter and I. We have been separated for around six months, living in the house in separate bedrooms (though we'd been in separate rooms already long before that).
We both understand that the starting point for split of assets is 50/50. The question we have is will the assets be assessed when I move out or when we divorce? He feels that I should be entitled to 50% of the equity in the house at the time that I move out, because I would no longer be contributing financially to the mortgage. I feel that I should be entitled to 50% of equity at the time we divorce or sell, whichever comes first, because although I wouldn't be contributing to the mortgage, my name would still be on the mortgage and I would be having to pay rent elsewhere.
I am intending to and willing to seek advice from Citizen's Advice, mediation and eventually lawyers if needed, but just wondered if others could offer any advice or experiences on this.

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MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/10/2017 14:11

No, as you will have to pay rent. A lot of people try that trick, but I don't think that's the way the courts will view it - you both have expenses when you split up, not just him.

SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 15:07

Thanks for your reply MyBrilliantDisguise
Yes we with both have costs (mortgage vs rent) and I will be sort of starting from scratch when I move out, although he said I can take funiture e.g. Bed from spare room (which is currently my room).

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babybarrister · 02/10/2017 15:27

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SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 16:03

Thanks for your reply babybarrister Yes, it is looking like I will need to see a lawyer when I had hoped we could do as much as possible without lawyers. I am keen to keep things amicable for our DD's sake. Yes his brother gifted us a large sum for the house deposit, but my parents have given us money over the years (we've been together ten years) including money towards our first house deposit, money for our wedding and buying cars.

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MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/10/2017 17:21

He can't take his brother's money into account and not your parents'. How unequal are the two sums of money?

missarcher · 02/10/2017 17:34

Money towards the wedding probably won't count, but if they've brought your cars they should definitely go to you. And his brothers money definitely should come into play for the house so fight like hell to make sure it doesn't.

SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 17:35

Well, the amount his brother gave us was a lot more- it was £80k towards a £250k house, the brother is very well off. My parents was around 17k (which we added to our own savings) for deposit on first house and around £10k for our wedding.

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SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 17:38

They bought my car (well, specifically they gave me their old car then bought a new one for themselves). So I would keep that. Stbxh has his own car. It isn't really in contention that we will split the equity in the house (the £80k from his brother plus £20k of our own to make a £100k deposit), but rather whether it is the equity in the house at the time I move out or equity in it at the time we divorce, which could be two or more years down the line.

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SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 17:40

I didn't really think the wedding money or anything would count, I just mean that both our families have helped us out along the road so it isn't all one sided, although his brother did give us a large amount.

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MrsBertBibby · 02/10/2017 17:46

If you move out leaving him in the house, then your ultimate share is likely to be calculated with reference to the house value at the time you get it, not the date of separation etc.

SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 17:57

MrsBertBibby Do you mean the time I left it? I don't understand the time I get it? Thanks

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SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 17:59

What else can I do? He won't leave and it's very difficult living together. Should I just cut my losses and move out and expect 50% of the equity from when I move out, and forget about any equity increase during the period I don't live here?

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MrsBertBibby · 02/10/2017 18:41


No, the time you get it.

The time you get your share.

The value as at the date you move out is of no importance.

SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 18:52

Ah I see now, thanks MrsBertBibby
Well stbxh has just agreed to go to mediation together so I'm hoping that will help things along. Does anyone know anything about the costs involved with mediation?

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MrsBertBibby · 02/10/2017 19:35

Varies from one to another, so you would need to ask them.

Princesscharming · 02/10/2017 20:39

Were you married at the time his brother gifted the money? Just wondering if it makes a difference whether it’s matrimonial or non matrimonial assets??

SeparationQuestion · 02/10/2017 20:41

Yes we were married when he gave us the money.

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babybarrister · 02/10/2017 22:45

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