The part between agreeing to break up and actually breaking up

[Green13]

Sorry for the strange title but it is as it says. If you agreed with your partner to split and the idea was for for them to leave what did you do in the interim? H has nowhere to go. No local friends etc to kip on the couch. We don't have a spare room. We can't do the inhouse separation because we still love each other and the temptation to take it back (which has happened twice now) and patch things up will inevitably happen. Does the leaving partner go straight into rental? Do you try and get that sorted straight away? I know everyone's different and I'm basically spewing my thoughts here but any advice or experiences would be appreciated x

Sorry you're experiencing this.

It kind of feels like limbo.

I have similar at the moment. We are not destined to stay together now. Married for more than 15 years. It has run its course for us. Too much hurt on both sides.

Are you home owners? Do you intend to buy Husband out of the property or have you both agreed to sell the place? Can one of you buy out the other?

I own the house. I would stay here with the children. He would rent and then buy his own eventually. The latter part has been discussed it's just that initial limbo. I guess he needs to look at rentals and we go from there :( sorry you are in the same position

Can he start with an Air BnB?

Because that's quick to arrange, I mean. He could flat-search from there. If you don't have room to separate under one roof, the limbo must be hell, if not unworkable.

I hadn't thought about that. That's a really good starting point. Thank you. It's so hard when you don't want to break up but know it's for the best.

Are you two not married then?

Yes we are married.

Yes in that limbo. Ex is on the mortgage but I'm main carer for the kids so we are stuck. I want to move near family, they will house me in the interim, Ex doesn't want that as it's far away. We are going to mediation possibly. Not sure yet.

He's broken up with me before and we remained friendly and amicable, but this time he hurt me a lot with what he's said. And also he's just got back with me if I've been friendly, so I'm actually little contact. He works late and we take it in turns to go away at weekends. Can't go on much longer though. It's better to separate physically I think asap.

My STBX spent a week in a motel then got a room through AirBnB where he can use their kitchen. He moans about it a lot but if we were under the same roof it would be horrible.

He's trying to buy a cheap place nearby so our 15yo can spend more time with him. We are both living off credit cards and will deal after the divorce is sorted out. Terrifying but better than arguing all the time. No family near and we hadn't lived here long enough to make the sort of friends who let you live on their sofas.