Can XH stop us from flying home at Xmas ?

[Needadvice11]

Advice please... I'm still married despite it ending for years ago. XH has never seen 5yo DD at Xmas and now said it's his turn to have DD at Xmas. I'm not from England, I have no family here, and had planned to go home (long haul flight). XH has never had DD for longer than four nights which was over summer holidays. I managed to cover (juggle) the long summer on my own, actually all the holidays.The access arrangements have been very ad hoc. I have worked full time since DD was 1 yo and XH was made redundant and didn't work for three years. Thought out this period XH would have DD one night a week during the week, collecting from nursery at 5pm, dropping at nursery following day at 9am and then once school started, he did one school pickup and drop off. XH lives 10 minute drive away. Four months ago XH got a new job and now he saying he wants to see DD on weekends and wants DD at Xmas. I have received very little in way of maintenance and he has not helped with any school holidays (with exception of 4 nights over summer). Can he stop us from flying out ? My whole family are expecting us home and my son is getting excited about Xmas. This is incredibly stressful... thank you

Yes. You need to apply ASAP for permission. The court can sort out proper contact arrangements at the same time. You will need to go to mediation first.

Yes you need permission of BOTH parents.

Yes he can stop you and you may lose control of your son's passport if you willingly try to take your child out of the country without the other parents consent. You need to make a court application asap and hope they get to it in time.

Sounds like time to go to mediation to sort out contact for regular- EOW contact and holidays. If you can't agree then go to court.

Completely separately go to CMS and claim maintenance.

Thanks for all your comments. I think he has potential to be difficult for a holiday overseas and can see him potentially not agreeing out of spite. And for any overseas holiday for that matter. Does anyone know what the average time to get a prohibitive steps order takes ?

Why do you want to know that? You can't take the children without his consent or a court order. You need to get moving now.

It doesn't matter whether or not he has a Prohibited Steps Order or not. Although you can get one in less than 24 hours.

Getting permission for your holiday can take months.

I mean this kindly, but stop messing about on here and get to mediation.

Yes, I think you need mediation about the (apparently reasonable) increase in contact. And one Christmas in 5 isn't a lot, so do think negotiation strategies.

It's probably need to go to court as your positions are so far apart.

Please bear in mind that your thoughts on how he didn't do enough during other holidays, can also be used as an argument for greater time in future ones.

The courts will look at this from POV of the child, and it's generally help that contact with both parents is the right thing. That joy to your family seeing DC at Christmas as will not outweigh the potential joy to the other side of the family.

I would be negotiating that you already have made plans for this year but are willing for to alternate from next year as part of splitting the school holidays and EOW.

That would give plenty of time to come to terms with the change, make alternate arrangements etc.

Did this get sorted, Needadvice1 ?