Feeling lost

[alittlepieceofme]

Hi, my ds father has left us, ds was only 8 1/2 months old at the time. I don't think it was planned to leave when he did but he had definitely been thinking of it. He says he doesn't love me anymore and his feelings changed when ds was 1/2 months old. I feel like that having the baby triggered something in him!

He's under a lot of pressure in work, he's self employed and the business isn't doing very well. I think something had to give and it was our relationship.

I think I'm beginning to accept that he's not coming back, when he picks up ds he speaks to me like nothing has happened!

I read an article that said when a baby comes a man can feel overwhelmed, lonely and isolated, men can then misconstrue these feelings for falling out of love! I'm finding it hard to believe that his feelings have gone mainly because the week before he left we were talking about getting married and having another baby!

His mum has suggested that he speaks to someone but he won't.

[LanaDReye]

Try to think less about him and more about you. Your feelings and needs matter and by walking away he isn't supporting you. This is hard to think about as you are grieving the relationship now, but looking after yourself and your DC must be your priority

[Marissa2727]

I haven't been in your situation (so I'm sorry if this is rubbish advice) but I have to agree with whats been said above I think you need to take care of yourself and your DC as priority. Make sure you see and look to your friends/family for support.
If he has misconstrued these feelings he will figure this out for himself. You should not need to persuade him to be with you. If he does change his mind it is up to you if you decide to give things another go.

[MudCity]

for you.

As previous posters have said, focus on yourself and your son. Carve out a life for yourselves without your DP.

One day he may change his mind and want to come back and then it will be your choice as to whether you actually want him back. Don't wait for him though. Be happy in your own right.

[alittlepieceofme]

Thank you for your replies, my ds is definitely my main priority. I think it's him that's getting me through all of this

[LanaDReye]

alittle it will get easier, but be kind on yourself.

Sometimes you don't have all the answers, but then you realise you don't need them to carry on and have a good life. My exH cheated and I don't want to know anything about it now as I have moved on.

[alittlepieceofme]

I'm dreading finding out if there is someone else! He's adamant that there's not, I hope he's not lying!