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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I need help

2 replies

mrsmitch01 · 18/09/2017 08:45

Four years ago my husband had an affair 6 months after finding some text messages on my phone from another man. Which meant nothing!! We tried to be together for the sake of my daughter who is 11 now but I finally decided a month ago to end things between us as I couldn't forget what he did. We've agreed that we've grown apart and that it would be better for us to have our own lives. The problem is my daughter. She hasn't said much since we told her he's moving out. Which is a flat just around the corner on the next road so he will still be very nearby and I haven't set any restrictions either, but this morning she has revealed anxiety and she didn't want to go to school or even leave the house. I've ended up smoking again after 14 years and have just had half an bottle of wine!! It's 8.45am!!! I'm scared that a. I'm losing control and b. That my daughter is going to end up severely depressed. Do I go back to my husband and try to work it all out or do I stand my ground and sort myself out?? I really don't know what to do. I feel trapped. Please help me.

OP posts:
BeachysFlipFlops · 18/09/2017 08:50

Put the wine down and concentrate on your daughter. No, I wouldn't go back for the sake of your daughter, but you are going to have to manage this split better.

She may miss school for a few days, but you must just keep reassuring her. If the anxiety continues, you can visit the GP together, but for now just give her lots of comfort, reassurance and a duvet day together.

RB68 · 18/09/2017 09:03

I agree the wine and fags won't help. YOu need to focus on DD and give her time to take the news in - have a day to yourselves but make sure it includes going out, walk past his new place to show he is not far, let her be a child for a bit in the park give her some security, go get hot chocolate and all the trimmings but have the conversation that life goes on - things change and we have to change with them and set yourselves some goals for the next week to keep you both on track

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