The guilt of wanting to end the marriage :(

[Pineridge]

We have been married for 6 years now, been together nearly 10.
We have a home and 3 beautiful boys. But I am no longer in love with him. I love him but Im not in love with him. His not abusive, he can be amazing and other times he is so controlling and manipulative.
Those aren’t my issues though. 5 years ago we lost a stillborn son when I was 9 months through my pregnancy. Since then it torn me to pieces, I lost a piece of my heart. It changed me as a person. Im distant and Im on medication. And this is what most of our arguments are about. He hates the person I have become, he can’t accept it, he hates it and he makes me feel bad for it. In turn this has made me fall out of love with him. Instead of getting support I got guilt and punished for grieving.
I want to leave the marriage, I know it will break his heart, but I can’t live like this anymore. I feel guilt over our children.
We just make each other miserable.
Is it ok to leave?????

I am so so sorry that happened to you. You need support and he is not giving it. Have you considered therapy alone/together?
I do think that children are very perceptive and will know you are miserable which is worse than separating amicably.
But I do hesitate to advice you to make permanent decisions in the mind frame you have now.
I really hope you are ok

Thank you so much. We have tried therapy both alone and together and he walked out angry every time. He got angry at me and said why does the therapy have to be about you? And I said it isn't, it was just so you have a better understanding of what I am going through.
He has since refused to go back again. He tried it twice.
I was even thinking of doing a trial separation for 6 months, I will rent a house and he can see the kids whenever he likes but I will have some time alone to heal. I feel I need to heal and find myself again. Do you think I that could work?