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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Help with reasonable acess

1 reply

Nat885 · 24/08/2017 09:47

My ex partner and I were together for 8 years and have a 5 yo and almost 3 yo together. We separated last Sept, after 18 months of him being more involved with work/friends/etc. He moved out for a month as things had gotten so bad, but then he moved back and things were worse than before. I asked him to move out again , but he refused, So I made the decision to move me and my boys out last Sept.
We had an amicable arrangement with seeing the boys - he has them every Tuesday evening once work has finished and takes them to school/nursery on weds morning. He then has either a Fri night/sat day or sat from 3pm til sum evening.
This has worked ok, although I always thought tues evening should be dropped as we were struggling to fit homework in etc as I work as well.
Well now he is pressuring me to have them 3 nights per week... some staggered and some ok time. My 5yo already asks me every day where he is keeping tonight and I don't want to unsettle him anymore. The constant pressures to bat away his requests is getting too much (plus the additional issue of his new gf in the last few months, who he sees whenever he has the boys)
Sorry for the long post, but does anyone have any advice on what is reasonable contact? I feel like he wants them more for selfish reasons and I have to pick up the pieces when they are unsettled at home

OP posts:
Deardinah · 25/08/2017 13:18

My ex has our daughter (3) two nights a week.
I think the contact you have in place is sufficient at this age. Like you said it is unsettling for young children and exactly how I feel.
Does he want extra nights to avoid paying as much maintenance? The children are asleep, surely quality time spent during the day is more beneficial.
Stick to your guns, you don't have to accommodate his requests.

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