Daughter refuses any contact with dad

[Lavandula36]

Separated and divorced years ago, 7, and since then daughter has been seeing dad for 2 hrs a week. Recently he remarried and difficulties started. An interim court order was issued for a Skype call initially, due to happen later today. But my daughter anxiously refuses to do it. I don't blame her. She is upset. I encourage her but she refuses to even think about it. What shall I do? Will I be breaking law, what shall I do?

He used her to worry and threaten me, he prevented her from going on the summer holiday abroad, which was planned last year. He left her without passport. She is 11. Court did not get into the nitty gritty of his manipulative ways and ordered he as a father deserves contact. I do not know whether her not wanting to speak to him is good enough at this stage. Please help and advice if you had had such experience and what can the court say or do to me.

She is now at an age where she can make her own mind up as to whether she has contact with her father. My daughter refused from the age of 9.
I did not force the issue with her and just told him that she would no longer be seeing him. I said if he wanted to challenge it then he could go to Court...which he never did.

She's 11 she is no way mature enough to assess the long term consequences that not seeing her dad may have.
You are her mum. Look after her. Help her to become strong and encourage her to talk to her dad on Skype give her privacy to do it and build her confidence. It's a Skype call. In life she will have to do many things she doesn't want to that will turn out to be better than she expected - this is probably one of them.

I totally agree that nothing in life is easy and she would not see the whole picture but hardship from ones own dad can also have life long consequences for a child. She has feelings and long term anxiety is not something I wish for my child.

Anyway, problem temporarily postponed by dad not appearing on Skype.

Thank you

I agree with you Lavandula36 His behaviour towards her is the reason why she does not want anything to do with him and is causing her a lot of anxiety.
Stopping a child from going abroad for a summer holiday...he is a vile person who is putting her through ridiculous amounts of anxiety and you are doing right in listening to what she is telling you
There is nothing worse than growing up suffering from anxiety as a child and as you rightly say it will have life long consequences for her.
I hope you and your dd find some peace of mind without this manipulative moron ruining your life any more than he has already.