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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Ex H wants me to pay life insurance

34 replies

pennydrops17 · 22/08/2017 21:06

He's demanding I transfer all bills over to my account for me to pay since separating including his life insurance because he says 'he won't be benefiting from it if he dies - me and the children will' so therefore I should pay it. I don't have life insurance myself.

Is this not a bit odd, though ie. expecting me to pay for his life insurance? Shouldn't he want to pay to ensure his kids are okay in the event of his death?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 22/08/2017 21:09

Just tell him to cancel it and take out you own. You should have your own anyway.

Yes he should but some men amplify their dickness when they leave the family unit.

littleblackno · 22/08/2017 21:16

I pay my exhs life insurance. We had a joint policy and i dont trust him to continue to pay it. Yes i benefit if he dies but i also would struggle financially if he died so worth it to me.
Im also aware that he will benefit if i die but it will go to the kids so not worried about that.
If you can afford it then i would think its worth it, if the selfish twat won't pay it himself to offer his kids some security for the future.

butterfly56 · 23/08/2017 10:02

Tell him to cancel the life insurance and take out your own policy. Don't fall into the trap of being manipulated by him.

grasspigeons · 23/08/2017 10:05

Do you depend on his financial contribution, if so I would pay for some insurance if he dies and I would want to be in control of it.

Would he struggle if you died - you might be surprised at the cost of replacing you. Has he thought about that.

Rainybo · 23/08/2017 11:00

It's a tricky one, I'm in a similar situation and I want to cancel joint life ins and just have my own with my children as beneficiaries. Ex-H is insisting the joint policy is kept up, but I am financially independent. If he died, then it wouldn't make much difference to me. I think it is just manipulation and control.

ijustwannadance · 23/08/2017 11:09

Is he paying a mortgage? If so he still has to have life insurance.

SleepFreeZone · 23/08/2017 11:12

It sounds like he is going to cancel the policy if you say no. Do you know how many years he has paid into it and what the payout would be?

Original poster
pennydrops17 · 24/08/2017 02:56

He s paid into it for about 15 years. Do we need life insurance for the mortgage? I've got a feeling that if one of us dies, mortgage will be paid off. This is a separate policy (or section) in terms of paying out an additional lump sum (I'm not covered as he earns but he is). Yes, I depend on his contribution for kids, bills. He's wanting to reduce his original contribution (a whole other thread I need to write...)

OP posts:
childmaintenanceserviceinquiry · 24/08/2017 03:28

Actually it was one of the things that my (expensive) legal team totally overlooked. I was financially dependent on ex for a while and if he had died there was no insurance policy with me or our DC as named beneficiaries. At times I was quite worried. It is easy enough now to sort out whilst you are sorting out finances. Life insurance can be quite cheap. I wouldnt want an ex to have control over the policy - they could cancel it at any time.

SilverBirchTree · 24/08/2017 03:30

You should definitely take out your own policy on his life, don't rely on him to pay it, even if he is willing to

SerfTerf · 24/08/2017 03:32

Strange to want to give you a motive for murder Smile

Ilovetolurk · 24/08/2017 06:27

Firstly what type of policy is it? Does it pay a lump sum only on death? Assuming yes and it is a joint life policy which pays out on first death the following points are relevant

If you cancel it and take out your own policy it will not pay out when your ex dies. Personally I would want that protection as CM payments for example would stop

It could cost you more to buy now due to being older or having health conditions. Worst case scenario is that you can't get insurance again now

Personally I would keep the policy going unless I couldn't afford to

Best to take ifa advice around is it in trust what are conditions for oayment etc so that you know what to expect if a claim arose

That claim could be for you and a trust could protect your children's financial interests

UnicornsRock · 24/08/2017 20:06

My lawyers also told me to take out life insurance on my "D"H so as to ensure that I would continue to get funds in the event of his death.

Original poster
pennydrops17 · 25/08/2017 07:16

These posts make sense. I guess I'll keep it and just have to find the money. I ve no idea how much life insurance policies cost tbh. The one he wants me to pay is about £50 a month which seems alot to me but I might be wrong. We're both in our 50s. Do they still pay out of we're separated or divorced though but I'm still named as the beneficiary?

OP posts:
Cambionome · 25/08/2017 07:48

I was advised by my solicitor to take out life insurance on my stbxh. Maybe look around and see if you can find anything cheaper?

Ilovetolurk · 25/08/2017 07:53

Yes it will.

Ilovetolurk · 25/08/2017 07:56

If you have had the policy a while it's unlikely buying it again now would be cheaper. Just check the cover it gives is ok for you and possibly consider trust arrangements to cover if you die first

sparechange · 25/08/2017 07:56

Does he have death in service through his work?
If so, who is the beneficiary?

You don't automatically need life insurance if you have a mortgage...

KarmaNoMore · 25/08/2017 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GeorgeTheHamster · 25/08/2017 08:03

Life insurance is usually a non negotiable requirement of a mortgage account.

I receive hefty maintenance from my exH. He either had to undertake to pay a life insurance policy for the term of the maintenance or undertake to provide in his Will to pay the maintenance out of his estate. I think he went for the latter. Whether he actually changed his Will doesn't much matter to me, it is clear that the money is mine should he snuff it.

OddBoots · 25/08/2017 08:06

If I were to pay it I would want some kind of security that he couldn't change who it paid out to. The number of times you see on here that ex partners are with a new partner within weeks.
Even if it were years down the line I wouldn't want to pay for years only for it to then be for the benefit of anyone other than me or our children.
To get that assurance you will probably need some proper legal advice.

sparechange · 25/08/2017 08:11

george

That is a bit of a myth... I'm on my 8th mortgage, a combination of purchase and remortgages, and I've never been required to take out life insurance for any of them.
The brokers have given me the hard sell on life insurance a number of times though, so you'd be forgiven for thinking it was required from the way their word their sales pitch.

If you die, the mortgage company can claim their debt from the estate by requiring the house to be sold. It's no risk to them if you don't have insurance to pay off the balance.

Buildings insurance with rebuilding coverage is usually compulsory, however

Brokenbiscuit · 25/08/2017 08:16

It isn't true that life insurance is required for a mortgage, even though it's obviously a good idea to have a plan in place to pay off the mortgage if one of you dies.

Original poster
pennydrops17 · 25/08/2017 08:48

I'm going to have to look at the terms and conditions re the policy. I remember that the mortgage was paid off if either of us died but that an additional lump sums only happened if he died, not me (we couldn't afford the extra premium to cover my death re this and he was/in FT work with good pay). May be fuzzy on these details though. Seems like I should just try and find the money to cover the monthly cost - which will be hard.

So, just to clarify, even if divorced, and he died, it would still be paid to me?

OP posts:
Ilovetolurk · 25/08/2017 08:51

Yes unless it has been put in trust in which case it will pay to the trustees

Setting up a trust would require you both to sign.

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