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[Brodtedmum]

Hi
Me and my ex have two young sons together, We split when the youngest was 4 months old following an isolated incident off domestic violence.

For 3 and half months following this my children's dad kept cancelling contact with them. Leaving my eldest sat at the window waiting for him, not phoning when he said he would.

We then came to the agreement that he would stop over at my house 2-3 times a week to share childcare as I was going back to work. He was living with his mother a good 40 minute drive away and I didn't want the kids staying there as she smokes in her house and also I could not get to the. If needed as I don't drive and don't have anyone to take me.

Now 1 year on my ex has decided he isn't doing this anymore, Leaving me struggling to carry on working, He has threatened to take my children and not give them back. And now refusing contact with the boys as I will only allow supervised until I trust he won't take them and not give them back.

I have tried everything to get him to see his children but he is refusing saying only if he can take them away from me.

Now he says he's taking me to court.

Will they give him unsupervised contact?

I would think so. Ask for a live with order. Then everyone knows where they stand.

The court will hopefully send you both on a Separated Parents Information Programme.

www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/separated-parents-information-programme-(spip).aspx

Good luck. I think court is the best plan, so if he doesn't apply, you should.

Thank you. How do I apply for a live with order just through gov.uk?

If he applies first then you can specify in your acknowledgement that you want the Child Arrangements Order to include a live with provision (what used to be a residence order). Strictly speaking you should complete a C2 as well (fee £155)

If you apply first, C100 and £215 court fee.

Fee reduction or exemption form is ex160.

Also in all cases do a C1A about the domestic abuse.

You could ask for a prohibited steps order to prevent him removing them from your care, given his threats to do so but that feels a bit overkill to me. Hopefully the court can help you both settle down and stop trying to use the child arrangements to control each other, which I get the feeling is what's going on.